A couple of days ago I fell back into watching porn again, but I was able to resist masturbating. For a while I was feeling sexually numb inside during my rebooting. I was told that this is normal. Then I started to feel sexual desire for women again which I think is a good sign also. I also could not resist watching porn again. I did notice that I was drained afterwards. I had lots of sexual energy when I was watching it but afterwards I felt like I was empty. It is not a psychological emptiness. It's physical. It's almost as if I have a gas-tank in my head that had completely dried up. My guess is it's the body that stops producing dopamine. It feels good to know this and it feels good that I did not masturbate. But I must resist watching porn better on the future. However I would like to know if other people also experience that 'empty' feeling after watching porn and how it feels to them?
Yes I feel that way. I also tend to get irritable after and get brain fog. I alswaus feel sharper and happier when I avoid it.
I too feel exhausted (like totally exhausted, not just tired). It is funny because real sex is a physical activity and I were just moving my hands (you know what I mean) for a couple minutes.
Nailed it. Basically our dopamine signaling is so fried, that when the dopamine pathways get lit up when we PMO, they are basically short circuiting following usage. Only way to heal... abstinence.
I feel emptiness after both sex and watching porn. Lol. And actually sometimes before. And rarely in the process, but most of the time emptiness disappears only in process of having sex/masturbation.
I don't think I ever felt it before trying to quit. But since trying to quit porn, yeah, if I relapse I am pissed at myself for a long time. But that doesn't really help me at all, so I try to forgive myself, learn from it, and keep up the fight. It's tough, but I am so glad I am trying to quit PMO. I just feel better about life!
Yes, I do feel that way. Taken from my log, this is a more detailed description of what I observed on my last relapse: