So because of hocd i keep rechecking myself couldn't stop. So because of this i keep thinking of my past and i counted how many things ive done. Like I've done 10 gayish things and 10-11 straight things. Always had feelings for females. I remember when i used to love my female teacher, my classmates who was my First crush, i always fantasized about her. And all the gayish things are done in a sexual way not in a romantic way. Never felt any male attractive or romantic. But all i can think about is the gayish things I'm so fucked up
Just chill and be cool with yourself. If you don't like something that you're doing, then you have an opportunity to correct yourself and avoid those mistakes in the future. I used to shame myself and hate myself for watching certain kinds of porn, but it never helped at all.
The memories of gay sex cause shame to me. Now i dont indulge in those activities. But regret exists n haunts me daily.
Yeah I guess it sucks to have done something that causes you to regret it later. I suppose the best thing for you to do would be to accept what you've done and move forward in a positive direction. If you think NoFap will help you straighten yourself out (no pun intended) then by all means, join me. Congrats on 5 days btw.
Yes it's time to move on. I've been straight since my childhood always fantasized about women but these hocd thoughts always focuses on something that I've done wrong. I think it's time to heal myself in peace. Everybody male mistakes especially when you're a child