I've been watching porn since I was 11/12. At a very young age, I drowned myself in porn for hours; not going out on the weekends just to watch a couple of hours of hardcore porn. As a natural introvert it was a match made in hell. Soon, it became something I was completely addicted by, and it destroyed my teenage years. Images of the most disgusting shit are etched into my mind and I feel a sense of constant guilt and shame. It'll always be something I wish I never discovered. Anyways, through trails and tribulations I've cut down my usage quite significantly (minutes every couple weeks vs hours a week). However porn is still something I succumb to, especially when I have a shitty day or feel stressed; which as a working adult happens quite frequently. I feel like its become a subconscious coping mechanism that I've unfortunately developed. Its like I can forget my own being for a couple of minutes and live out a unattainable fantansy. Am I alone?
Absolutely. And no you're not alone in the slightest. All addictions are coping mechanisms and this is no exception.
I've smoked cigarettes before but Porn honestly is just a whole different level. Even the thought of it makes me so anxious.
No, you are not alone. On this current streak I am realizing more and more all the “negative” feelings I had always been trying to avoid. Porn and masturbation were a temporary escape from my own self and my own thoughts. I could just drown myself in pleasure for an hour to get a break from it all
actually, the above paragraph I wrote was false. It is PORN that CAUSES these negative feelings in the first place. Get rid of the porn and masturbation, and these bad feelings should disappear, at least that is what I suspect is going to be the case. just the smallest amount of porn and/or masturbation have horrible, unseen consequences. It needs to be avoided literally forever, at least for males
Yeah, I used it to cope when I was super stressed out or tired. Just relapsed recently after 90 days I'm so mad at myself. Trying to recover. Whenever I'm really tired that's when the temptations are worse. I hope that overtime I can use other things to help me cope. Have you tried meditation or working out? That seems to help. Also, having a good diet really helps too!