My 2 cents - as others have mentioned, try losing the alcohol as part of your reboot. Then figure out where the stress is coming from. Personally, I found the gym to be a great way to focus my thoughts on something else and release stress. I also found out during my reboot that I hated my job, and it was the source of so much stress that I needed PMO and alcohol to cope. 2 weeks in to my reboot I switched in to a different role and things have been much better. The hardest part of this battle is fighting with your own mind. When it's craving something and you are fighting it. Ask who is saying these things - is it you? I like to give it a wimpy face and tell it to fuck off then slam some iron at the gym. When the cravings and fantasy thoughts pop in there, just switch to something else. This is by far the hardest part of this process for me at least, but I'm 50 days in and I'll tell you it continues to get easier.
Here's my advice. Don't take risks that will end up ruining everything. You have a long term relationship, and you are putting it in jeopardy by seeing escorts. Think that one day you might get an STD, and you give that to your gf, ruining her life because of your addiction. It's not just you who will be affected, but her as well, and who knows if you have already. Just sit and think of the many consequences your actions can bring, and always search for a better solution. This isn't just about you when it comes to a relationship, so think outside yourself and find the strength to stop.
I’m in the same boat, minus the alcohol (I’m sober for 15 years now). Married with kids, I need to get porn and escorts out of my life. This is my first post and first day here. I know I can do it. There’s too much at stake, and I want a better life for me and my family. Damn porn is the root of everything, begone for good!
Good on you @GuyBelongsHere, this step is a hard one to make, but you've made it. Welcome! As you go on your journey, don't forget that you have much to learn about yourself and the way you behave and think - If not, you'd snap your fingers and be done with it. So each step you take, allow for a moment to reflect on what you feel, and/or think. Also, failure happen only when you stop trying. Relapses aren't the end of the world, they don't mean you failed - they are an opportunity to learn something. All the best to you.
Thanks @TheFutureMe, that really means a lot. This is all so similar to AA, which was desperately needed and worked for me 15 years ago. While AA was tremendously successful for me at the time despite the 2 relapses within the first year, I never was as serious about PMO. This porn addiction grew so much over time, for most of my life, all of my married life, and all of my kids life. So much wasted energy, money, and time. This escort thing is rather recent, but yea I like many others said fuck it because I wanted to feel more. It's now time to get my entire life under control, be on the right path, do the right thing, and live clean for good. I'm very grateful to be have this community, already feeling like this support system will get me there.
Haven't seen an escort for two years but determined to No-PMO it so find my thoughts are veering off in that direction.Not good! and just a different branch of the same tree.
