I want to die

Lift. Lift the heck out of stuff. Lift and run.

Man, I understand what you're going through and adding SSRIs to the mix is seriously a heavy burden to carry without any form of exercise that helps your mind. There are people who've reported great improvement from focusing on a sport light weight lifting or running. I suggest you start looking into those options as it may be your one chance to affect your mood for the better.

I pray that you feel better, but this fight is in your hands and is yours to fight man. I suffer from mild depression which is nowhere near where you are, but it requires me to willifully grab life by the its horns and drive myself up through feelings of inadequacy and pain. Personally, my faith in God has been a great source of comfort and inspiration. It's a tough battle, but you are the master of your life and can choose to affect your mood by driving your interests to places where they serve a purpose.

Be safe brother.

 

You have to stop fapping and watching porn. Sounds like you're suffering from a severe case of brain fog. I know because I have felt that awful type of depression you're describing.

 

The most profound piece of advice I've seen on these forums came at a moment like this for another user. It's a one-sentence phrase that really helps me when I get down.

Your life matters.

You may not see it now, but deep down you know that it does. Just as much as the people responding to your post. Hang tight. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I'm sure you're going through a lot, but think about your parents and loved ones before you take any such step.

 

man, be strong, the chain is not that easy to break, you need to realise that scarfice is needed to nofap, you have to go through pain, it's either the pain of struggle like you are now, or it's the pain to say goodbye to your oldself, but it will never be your precious life, you can get over it bro, I pray for you!

 

come on dude u can do it

 

Firstly you have to stop smoking weed immediately as it is increasing your bad mental state. Replace it with meditation, don't cling to those bad thoughts, go for a bike ride, running walk or to place where you can be between other people, don't sit in home. Seek for professional help. You are not alone in your struggle.
YOU ARE STRONG and your weakness now will become your strength if you will stick to NOFAP.
Good luck bro !

 

I'm not going to say I know what you're going through, but I've been in some dark places. It feels terrible, it feels hopeless, it feels like you'll never get through it, but well...you will. That's really all I can say.

As far as practical advice, I can't recommend more highly cutting off your home Internet connection for a period of at least 30 days. You need to get away from PMO, and there's no easier and more effective way than by getting rid of your home Internet connection for a period. This will not only allow you to abstain from PMO, it will inspire you to get out a bit more, spend time with others and find hobbies about which you're passionate, which are essential for permanently abstaining from PMO.

Also, I'm not a doctor and therefore am in no position to give any sort of medical advice, but if there's one suggestion I could make, it's to try to deal with your depression through natural means rather than drugs. The reason I say this is that I also was placed on SSRI's as a teenager. I can't recall any positive benefit it had on my depression, but it effectively destroyed my motivation do anything. Literally, I did not want to do anything. I didn't want to study, I didn't want to exercise, I didn't want to to have sex, I didn't want to read. I felt completely numb emotionally, and hated every second I was on them. After getting off them, I resolved to treat my depression through natural means. This included intense exercise at least five times a week, restricting processed foods to an absolute minimum, and becoming as socially active as possible (which has always been difficult for me as an introvert, but the benefits are well worth the effort). Committing to this allowed my depression to lift, and by continuing to do so, I've never even considered a return to medication.

Again though, you must discuss any issues of medication with your doctor, so please do not either add or eliminate any medications without your doctor's approval.

Anyhow, I know well the feelings of hopelessness you've described, but please believe me when I say that things will get better. You'll break free from PMO and anything else that's holding you back, so just stay positive and think about how great your life is going to be once you've done so.

 

If there's life, there's hope. Keep writing to us here!

And please get rid of the weed....

 

Just know we're here for you.