I wish I was more attractive

Hey Daniel,
I've never had a GF either and I've had random and awkward experiences in my life. I'm kind of a stalky average height guy and I keep thinking about trying online dating. I mostly use hand weights when exercising. I haven't given up yet and I have a strong desire to do so. I am not into modern music or vernacular and lifestyle so I feel like I'm out of the loop too. I'm trying to be confident regardless of my situation and focus on small goals, perhaps woman like to see a guy who doesn't second guess himself and strive for certain things. I feel like we must be ourselves if we want to have the right relationships.

 

For the most part of my teenage/early adult life I was where you are know Daniel. And I tend to revert to those self-defeating thoughts and negative feelings about myself when I stay inactive for too long or engage in unproductive habits (Internet or social media scrolling, repetitive video games, watching porn...)

The thing I recently discovered is that your behaviour can shape your thoughts. That works both for negative AND positive reinforcement. Check out Behavioural Activation Therapy, I think it can be a good start and there are therapists out there who can assist you. I'm saying that because I always refused any help for fear of discussing my problems with a real person, and it was a huge mistake. You can dramatically improve the way you feel about yourself in under 3 months, sometimes even a lot quicker.

As far as having conversation and feeling better in your skin, you could start with implementing a daily reading habit and taking time in the morning for grooming, physical activity, mindfulness if you don't already do that. Doing a 30 day NoFap challenge will be a big booster as well.

The best pieces of advice I can give you are to do more things for yourself and slowly build up positive habits. Become your best friend because you are going to spend a shitload of years in your own company! As humans we have a deep need to be accepted as the people we are. And it starts with ourselves. Don't worry about girls, they will come and go, just like your thoughts, and feeling great about yourself is what will attract them into your life and even perhaps make them want to stay.

 

Who cares? Either get used to it or get over it. Your attitude is also terrible, make the most of what you've got. Improve. Become an athlete yourself..

You already said you are tall, which gives you a head start anyway. A lot of girls love tall and skinny guys, so you don't have an excuse in my view.

You should be looking for a personality match regardless of how you look. A lot of people don't do that. Especially inexperienced ones or virgins. Don't go for someone that isn't compatible personality wise with you, because girls aren't going to go for a guy that isn't compatible with them personality wise regardless of appearance.

 

do 500 - 1000 push ups / 100 - 500 pull ups / 500 - ? squats and alot of hill sprints / distance running (with appropriate and adequate warm up routine and hydration/nuttrition)
rinse / repeat
= more attractive

 

also combat sports (any ) are a great great ego / confidence booster... true genuine confidence that is .. also true exercise like what i said ^ , getting out , running swimming, hill walking, this builds genuine confidemce and "self acceptance" or "sure, sure i am attractive!" mindset.. you see alot of pseudo confidemce with the weight lifter body build culture, i know this thread is about "attraction".... forget about attraction in the sense of "this is how i look and feel"... attraction is a primal thing going to a primal level... that advice i left above will make you feel more "attractive" on a primal and core level

 

"its not the experiences that must always be fresh and renewed, but the ---Mind--- of the experiencer that should always be fresh and renewed"... quit wasting time on fruitless pursuits and time drains, get out ans live life for you, yourself and you. you want to be more attractive ? more whatever? i gave my 2 cents... retain your lifeforce, and get out and make your dreams happen. no excuse or whining. Just Do it.

 

Dude, just how ugly are you? I seen plenty of unattractive guys with some beautiful women.

 

You know what dude, I am not even going to try and cheer you up; you are everything that you think you are. So if maybe you will decide, you are Awesome and Sexy no matter what others say, then you will be that too...it's all up to you.

 

If you're a very ugly dude acquire Currency.