That's what you're supposed to say right? Admit that you have a problem? Well I have a problem BIG TIME. 20 minutes ago I relapsed for the Gazilianth time since my 133 day streak. I have been mixing PMO and MO with fantasizing for some time now. On the TV today there was a reporter interviewing heroin addicts who were shooting up in public toilets in the center of Stockholm. There was one guy who had been off heroin for 3 years until he relapsed into using again. That's when I thought to myself I'm fucking addicted... This summer was supposed to be my breaking free vacation. Go travel Europe, meet new people, have fun, seize the day and all that. I started preparing for the vacation by abstaining from PMO for 14 days until I went away. I did have fun I really did the first half of the vacation. But when I came to Paris I couldn't find a group hostel so I decided to get a hotel room instead. I was feeling pretty tired and so I lay down in my bed alone. I used the free wifi access to read my email and watch some youtube videos and wouldn't you know it my brain says to me: "Hey you know what would be fun??? Some pics of your favorite models!!". I was weak what can I say. I wanted a stress relief so I did BIG MISTAKE. Next thing I know I'm on a 3 day escalating PORN BINGE ending up in my favorite deepthroat porn. I'm fucking addicted... Hey so I'm sorry for the long post I just felt like I need to rant. Also I got an email from NoFap saying that I've been inactive on the forum and it really hit home. Posting on NoFap made me go 133 days without watching porn or masturbate. It gave me the motivation to workout 6 times a week. It gave me the motivation to start approaching girls. NoFap I've missed you.. I'm back.
Welcome back, mate. At least you accept you've a problem to tackle again. Well done on your previous effort. Bet you felt great during your 133 day run.
You should be patting yourself on the back for abstaining for 133 days! That's awesome, my friend. Now take that success and use it for motivation to abstain even longer. As they say in that movie, Forget Paris!
Hey guys, Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really felt AMAZING during the last big reboot but even after such a long reboot addiction can come back and stab you in the back. I will make it this time though. I have started a new journal detailing my progress. My last journal was so dirty with relapses that I figured starting clean would be a good idea. Habits (or addictions) start as cobwebs and end up as chains.
Hey man dont forget, failure helps motivate you to succeed! You may have slipped up but you have done better than I ever have, focus on the positives and dont dwell on the negatives. Use them instead to mak more positive things manifest. Also I must say sounds like a pretty cool trip you took, I am pretty jealous. Your doing great man ok, keep it up and remember how good you can be at this.
