My approach on how to start NoFap! The 90 day challenge

Finally the challenge has started and the only thing we can now see is the struggles getting to day 90. All of us have experienced the pleasures of PMO and now it’s time to experience the displeasure of being obedient to increase our self-worth. The struggle will be real but it is for only a limited amount of days.

For us to succeed, it’s best to forget that the challenge exists. We wouldn’t want to be counting every day and waiting to reach the 90th day. That seems like a very long way to go. We all have our daily plans (school, job, family, activities). For us to go a long way, we will have to implement new habits in our daily life. These habits will definitely help and distract us from our old habits that have negatively affected us. Before we talk about habits, let us first discuss what should be STOPPED or REDUCED in our daily life;

1) Watching Porn should be stopped at all costs. This includes looking at full clothed men/woman to tease yourself.

2) Fantasizing and sexually fantasizing things you can do or want to do.

3) Sexually looking at people in the streets or at work.

4) Being alone and not having anything to do.

5) Talking about porn material you watched and wish you watched.

6) Chilling with company (friends) that only talk about porn.

7) Being LAZY (some of us might have psychological problems and we can work around this by figuring out different approaches)

8) Unfollow pornstars, actors and people who keep posting pictures of themselves in social media who show the nature of their body. (maybe some of these people are your friends so you wouldn’t want to unfollow them)

In order not to fall into the trap of PMO, we should not follow our desires. We will have moments of feeling weak. A judgment at weak moment is what really defines the person’s worth. I will repeat, the weak moments when you have to decide whether you want to fall into the trap and watch porn or continue to stop PMO is WHAT DEFINES A PERSON. Every single time you fight the weak side of you and you win, you become a stronger person whose self-worth only increases. The trap method of PMO works like a mouse trap except there is cheese placed in a trail to reach the trap. The moment you eat the first cheese, you are on your way to the error path. The problem with the first cheese is it gives you a sense of pleasure you experienced from before which will shoot up your dopamine. Our mind will go into automatic mode and want to experience more of this dopamine which is when you will eat the second, third and fourth cheese until you reach the trap. Then the TRAP is your doom. The moment you hit the trap and get hit, this is the regret phase where you realize you failed your mission to complete your challenge. Why suffer and start from beginning when YOU CAN complete your goal in one attempt? Let us win this challenge the way we always wanted to. We have experienced PMO for years, shouldn’t it be time to experience the opposite and see how our bodies develop in a different manner? Famous quotes and bodybuilders say it would be a shame not to experience the maximum physical growth of what are bodies can achieve before we reach old age. But I say why experience the growth of the body when you can experience the growth of the mind and body? After all it is the MIND that can challenge our bodies and everything around us. Our bodies can’t get us to the moon, our MINDS can. It is time to challenge our minds, instead of our minds controlling us and what we do, it is US that control our own minds and decide for it what is best for us.

Stopping and or reducing the mentioned bullet points above is half way to your success. The other half of the success is to start implementing new routines which therefore becomes our new habits. It is extremely difficult to stop an old habit if you don’t replace it with a new activity in life. The same goes with university, the moment you are done it with. You are filled with this plague of emptiness. The only way to fill this emptiness is to find a value that can replace the old one. For most of us university has a high value and the only way to guarantee a job for most of us is to pass the exams with a decent grade. That’s where we sort our values and tell ourselves to study and put more effort than usual. The moment you graduate and find an average job, it doesn’t sometimes suit you due to the occupation itself or the job doesn’t satisfy your expectations. Many people still feel this emptiness and return to their old habits of PMO cause that is where they find excitement. If you find motivation in your job then this would cause some distractions to the PMO habit. However, a job only consists a few hours in the day and we are left with many hours to ourselves. It is important to add new things into your daily life to distract you from PMO and the list is as follows but not in order;

1) Working out at home, gym or outside

2) Joining a group club such as martial arts, yoga, spinning class or whatever you prefer

3) Start reading new books that benefit yourself and society

4) Meditation

5) Joining society groups that help people ( either volunteering or not )

6) Spending more time with family and friends

7) Investing more time in getting a girlfriend rather than waste that time on porn

For now this is the list I am providing but the list does go on. It is important to set goals- why do you want to work out? Working out releases that desperate energy we have been concealing when we don’t fap. It also gives you a sense of high the same that porn would. However the problem is many of the dopamine receptors are developed from PMO so it will take time for your body to replace and develop new receptors from working out.

My understanding in the circle of life is to invest your energy in multiple activities which are not interconnected, this means you don’t want to spend all day working out or all day reading books. To achieve proportional and balanced growth in life, it is worth to invest some energy for yourself and energy for others. The energy invested for yourself would be personal growth such as gym, reading books that benefit yourself and everyone, learning a new language and meditation. The energy you invest for others would be joining society groups, building something new for people, spending time with family and friends. It is important to make a balanced cycle so you wouldn’t spend more time in one thing only. (I will discuss this topic more in another article).

That being said; all the small actions do add up, and every action that you take towards stopping the PMO will pay off in the long term. The only way to have a routine going is to START it. Focus on something new and DO IT! I wish you all the best!

 

Thank you for reading

 

thank you elias