It's the 02:00 on a Monday morning and here we are again. Deep in my thoughts, dealing with the bad decisions I've made in my life just like I do every week. Laptop in hand searching for what scene I'm gonna release my stress to tonight but all of a sudden something clicked in my head, a rush of guilt and disgust at this sick habit I keep on going back to for a shitty dopamine release. I tell myself "Not today, this has to end". So I put the laptop to the side and go to sleep thinking this is the start of something new. Here we are about 12 days later and still somehow going strong. I started a new job last week just to get back on my feet it's only part time but it keeps me busy and adds some so of structure to my day. Coping with quitting this addiction went quite smoothly during the first week tbh, I didn't have any urges as I tried to keep myself busy last week (HONESTLY I CAN'T EMPHASISE THIS ENOUGH KEEP YOURSELF BUSY). Whether it be gaming, going out with friends or catching up on tv shows and it honestly feels so good. Real Benefits almost two weeks in: -Vivid dreams. I woke up on friday and honestly I couldn't believe the dream I had all the sensations felt so real. I even thought I might have to reset because the dream itself was amazing. - Confidence is slowly increasing and I'm holding conversations much easier whilst attaining eye contact. - Energy. Honestly, I think everyone can agree with me that Porn takes a lot out of you energy wise and since I've stopped watching it I've had better sleep and waking up is a lot more smoother. - Motivation. Self-reflection has always been a problem for me as I've made a lot of bad decisions in the past that have messed up my education, relationship with friends and so on. But I've finally stopped feeling sorry for myself and at the age of 23 I always felt that I was doomed with a basic shit life in general but I wanna be more be a successful individual and I feel that I'm taking the right steps to get back on my feet. The struggles: So today I got a call today from a company that want's me to come in for an interview next week but I've only recently just started a new job (literally last week) this job will lead to better career path but pays much less (£200 a week for an apprentiship FULL TIME) but the job I've picked up pays roughly a £1000 a month for 3 days work and I was using that as a way to get back on my feet. After confirming the interview time and finishing the call I was immediatly overwhelmed with anexiety and had the worst gym session of my life and honestly I came home and was so close to going back to my old routine. But I've stayed strong just because I'm typing this right now. Gym is a good stress relief but I honestly need something else just to keep me going as I've got a lot of big decisions to make in the coming months but I'm gonna keep this going and keep anyone intrested in my story updated on a weekly basis.
Believe it or not, you already have all the tools you are going to need to get through this! It takes commitment (which you clearly have as you are employed), dedication and a desire to live a different, happier life (Gym and goals for better job imply you are capable of this too) Dedication is the biggest part though. I'm glad to read that so far the experience has been an uplifting one for you and that you are already seeing many benefits. This however, will not be the entire story of reboot from PMO, but really is that any different than anything in life? There will be ups and there will be downs, but those don't determine success. Its getting back up after we struggle, fail and relapse. It's refusing to break a promise to yourself ever again. Don't get discouraged when the downsides of a reboot show their ugly faces and know that when you do see them, you aren't doing anything wrong. It's a part of this. It's a part of life. If you keep pushing on and keep avoiding porn and masturbation no matter what, then you will see results that surpass the benefits you've already experienced. and Smile; You Can Do It!
It was hard for me to write this tbh but was a neccesary step Thanks for the reply man it means a lot. It was honestly a really big step for me to write this but I felt it was necessary to share my progress and hopefully this will be a weekly occurrence.
I'm glad you did! Just think at this point: Do you really want to do these last 12 days over again? If not, then don't! Stay strong and keep us updated
So I'm now officially 2 weeks and 4 days into Nofap and the urges are coming strong. A couple of hours ago August Ames, who I'm sure a lot of the Nofap community are aware of has just passed away (May she Rest in Peace) and the urges have skyrocketed ever since. TBH the last few days have been rough as well, I've been extremely horny in general with no stimulant, and a few pornographic videos/pictures have come across my twitter feed (Some of my friends are sexual freaks as well) but scrolling past those are easy. I'm going to stay strong, but I wanted to discuss the topic of ever being able to recover. If we're constantly counting the days are you ever truly recovered. I wouldn't like to be 3 months down the line still having Nofap on my mind as eventually I will relapse. TBH I don't know if it's the addicted side of me typing this as I speak, but I don't know if I want to completely cut porn from my life or just get my porn viewing under control whilst still maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Let me use the following as an example: How to Fight the Urge to Snack: A mouthful of chocolate candy, a sliver of cake, a chunk of cheese...give into those insistent urges, and before you know it, you've eaten everything but the kitchen sink. Even worse, those little urges can also add up to a large weight gain. For example, if you take in just 100 extra calories per day -- that's one ounce of rich cheese or a fistful of potato chips -- you can put on ten pounds in one year. So, when the urge to eat strikes, stop and ask yourself if you're really hungry. If not, then you're merely eating out of habit, and the urge will usually pass if you can wait it out. So the above text discussing the urge for someone to snack on junk food can be seen from porn addicts point of view of having urges throughout the day to let some steam and after that 1 session turns into 2 and so on. But a person doesn't completely shut themselves off from the urge to eat junk food, but simply after controlling their habits decide to have it in moderation (Let's say once a week). So I have two questions- 1. Doe's the dopamine reward system for a porn addiction work the same as it would for any addiction? 2. Is a Nofapper ever truly recovered if they're thinking about not viewing porn everyday? Fighting that same demon over and over again can't be healthy IMO. (P.S I am staying strong, but I've been doing a lot of research recently into porn addiction so wanted to get fellow community member's thoughts. Plus, it takes my mind of urges
