NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

It seems my addiction is getting worse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NotSoAverageJoe, Dec 27, 2017.

  1. Dec 27, 2017 #1
    NotSoAverageJoe

    NotSoAverageJoe Fapstronaut

    286
    236
    43
    It's 12:40pm, I've been doing roleplaying chat the last 2 hours, watching incest porn and had a couple shots to get drunk... just jizzed in my pants again... guess its shower time :(

    Life is just getting worse these days. The loneliness, anxiety, depression and utter lack of motivation to do anything... I wake up with good intentions, that get pushed to the side by my addictive drives. I cannot escape the cycle of shame and despair, all hope seems to be lost. What's the point anyways? The suicidal thoughts are back...

    Life seems empty and meaningless, I have no purpose and thus existence is futile. I don't even know who I am without the addiction. I'll do anything to avoid the void.... How does one let go of the past? A past filled with nothing but shame and guilt? To let go is to accept oneself... I honestly hate myself, why do I do what I do? Why am I so compelled to waste my life away, watching the most shameful videos and doing the unthinkable? Why is it that I am craving a drink before noon...

    I want so desperately, more then anything, a way out of loneliness... I know I must find a way of being comfortable alone, solitude over loneliness.... but it is the desire for love and sex that drive me to act out. The endless cycle of being irritable, restless and discontent.

    Cut off, disconnected from myself and the whole entire universe. What does it feel like to be free? Why do I feel so utterly broken and alone.... I was born with a broken heart and all attempts to mend it have been useless.

    For as long as I can remember... I felt like an outcast. I don't know where I belong of fit in...

    Addiction is they only way out of loneliness that I know of.

    What the hell am I supposed to do? I am haunted by the past and utterly afraid of the future. I feel worthless, unloved and empty...

    How do I let go of the past and move on? I know I know, take it one day at a time, but the be honest.... I don't know if I even want to live another day.

    Seriously, I need help.
     
    NotSoAverageJoe, Dec 27, 2017
    NotSoAverageJoe, Dec 27, 2017
    #1
  2. Dec 27, 2017 #2
    Heelhook

    Heelhook Fapstronaut

    116
    44
    28
    Keep ur head up. And leave all the bad stuff behind and start fresh. The longer you abstain from this the better it will get.

    But you have to keep going no matter what. I just relapsed with a broken leg lol. Just keep going..
    Giving up means the end of everything why not keep going?

    I know the pain is unbearable and horrific. I had suicide toughts myself on occasion when i went trough those phases.
    But after the pain the reward will be nice. Trust me it will.

    Keep it buddy hang in there !
     
    Heelhook, Dec 27, 2017
    Heelhook, Dec 27, 2017
    #2
  3. Dec 27, 2017 #3
    Nevarky

    Nevarky New Fapstronaut

    1
    0
    1
    First of all if you are really feeling suicidal just remember that these thoughts are temporary and it will get better one day.

    One of the most important things that keep you from being a social person is porn addiction.Think of how much you would have done instead of spending 2 hours in your room browsing porn.
    Im sure you regret the second after you fap so whenever you have the urges remember how you felt shame after you fapped.Its what i do to keep myself from fapping.
    Stop fapping and hit the gym and it feel give you a sense of accomplishment.

    These are the advices i can give.Good luck buddy :)
     
    Nevarky, Dec 27, 2017
    Nevarky, Dec 27, 2017
    #3

Share This Page