An alternative to being a frustrated incel

Please read with an open mind.

What I'm going to suggest may not be to your liking. You may think it's ludicrous, weird, abnormal, or all of the above. And that's fine, but just keep in mind what I said in the beginning.

Have any of you heard of those people who have become so attached to a fictional character that they get a body pillow, and make said character their "waifu"? It's pretty weird seeing picture of guys cuddling a pillow online, am I right? They're just loners who couldn't get a girlfriend and so they chose the next best thing, a fictional girlfriend. It wouldn't be far-fetched to say they all must be miserable hikkikomori rejects of society.

Topics such as these are so poorly understood as NoFap, because they are incredibly esoteric topics, understood by only a faction of people who experience subjectively what something is like and so are the only ones who really know anything about it. Everyone else, on the outside, having no knowledge or experience themselves will shun the people they don't understand for being different, when really their difference is that they've adopted a counter-culture.

But what if I told you I know some of these people with body pillows, and that they are actually happy people? Being in love with fiction is nothing new--it just goes a step further. What's interesting is that for these people, love happens in the first place, and so the body pillow is actually a first choice than a replacement for not having a girlfriend. Some never wanted a real girlfriend in the first place and don't want the associated problems anyway. Oxytocin is released in the brain, just as it would with a normal partner and loving attachment can actually grow. Once again, this is all experienced subjectively. I cannot tell you anymore than you could actually experience yourself.

Does anyone have any experience with this or know someone who has? In any case, I'm interested in hearing opinions on the topic (assuming the house doesn't go up in flames).

 

The stuff isn't "insane" so much as that there is the understanding that the conceptual person isn't real, allowing one still to be an experiencer of the suspension of disbelief. Suspension of disbelief is essential to enjoying movies, TV, or anything fictional, and this isn't insane because we're able to draw the line afterward that what we saw was just a movie, for example. "Crazy" is a just a label for not understanding something because it is unusual or different, so that's just an ad hominem argument, tbh. It won't destroy your sanity because of the reason mentioned, and the opinion that it will destroy your self-esteem just seems like a baseless assumption.

This is fair--I'm not going to argue. But for those who don't consider wanting to be in a relationship anyway, it really doesn't matter.

Is it lying necessarily to say that you are in love with some object? (Though I would argue one is in love with the concept, not the object.) Yes, the nature of the relationship is different, you can't have natural spontaneity or reciprocation to the love (it's one-sided), and yet loving attachment and the release of oxytocin (love hormones) still can occur. I would argue unrequited love is actually more harmful than 2D love for the reason that you are distorting your actual concept of a person who objectively exists, which can be very damaging for when you actually meet the person and see how your conception differs from your actual perception. 2D or fictional love differs in that you have an understanding that the concept isn't real, and so you can perceive it anyway you like. In any case the two are different.

And in defense of the hugging pillow, I will argue to normalize the action by mentioning the case of the "Dutch wife". The Dutch wife is the name for the hugging pillow Dutch explorers who were stationed miles away from their wives used for emotional and physical support when on the road. Essentially, the pillow was a proxy of their wife, which had a very practical use.

Hiring an escort only satisfies a short-term need, and basically it's saying you're willing to pay for something because you have no standards when it comes to sex/intimacy, just like the people who choose to have sex with fat girls because they can't get anyone else. In choosing a fictional relationship, it's at least saying you have some values.

 

You agreed that unrequited love is bad for people, which I assume means you're agreeing that 2D love =/= unrequited love. In any case, you haven't challenged my love argument and my rebuttal of your insanity claim, so I assume you're conceding these points.

I will admit I had some misinformation on this. I'll give you this point.

Granted, it may satisfy the need pretty well...until you want it again, and then you are burning money for another escort, or otherwise dealing with sexual frustration that leads you to pursue relationships for sex (which can be detected by girls from a mile away).

I should clarify what I mean when I say "standards." Admittedly, I could have chosen a better word. Let's call it "values." When you have sex with a escort (which is technically illegal, see definition of prostitute vs. escort: https://blogs.lawyers.com/attorney/...tween-prostitution-and-escort-services-24035/), you're basically saying two things: 1) You're okay paying for sex. 2) You're okay having sex with someone before you get to know them (The sex/intimacy is about their 10/10-ness, not who they are as a person.) And were you to get to know the escort, or even ONS or short-term fling, that would likely generate unwanted emotional baggage/attachment.

For those whom it matters to, I guess? I can't really see the difference really between bragging that you had sex with a hot girl and having the empty bragging rights of a trophy wife, tbh. To each their own I guess.

Escorts are professionals so they're probably not going to want to get caught with your car keys or stealing money from you. I trust you know what you're talking about here.

This is an appeal to tradition fallacy. Just because circumcision has been practiced in Catholic tradition since forever doesn't mean it's right. As for the apes, this is a non-sequitur since humans aren't apes and don't come from them anyway.

I don't think you can entirely rule out decently attractive girls wanting sex and not demanding anything in return. Break-up sex is a thing. Also I think a girl could want sex because they genuinely like the guy's personality, even if he is not too outwardly attractive, though this is just conjecture.

 

It's not unrequited love as I've already pointed out.

I've already mentioned how the waifu can develop in someone feelings of loving-attachment much like a real relationship, producing the same oxytocin (love hormones), especially through touch. Love really is a chemical reaction in the brain.

This is an appeal to nature fallacy. Nature may have designed love with the purpose of procreation, and marriage is certainly achievable to this end, however, thoughts that could lead to promiscuity, including rape, child pregnancy, and STDs are also within the realm of the "natural" (It can happen.) So, by your logic, waifuism, because it is unnatural, is wrong or destructive, even though the same love through procreation can end up with many problems such as high-divorce rates, infidelity, sex addiction, unwanted children of your own, or otherwise a total mess on your hands. I'm not seeing any of that with waifus, based on the people I know.

At best it could give someone new confidence, a sense of contentment, and values to live by. Don't reduce waifuism to masturbation because you don't understand it.

It can't be a delusion that will take its toll on you, because I've already written about how it doesn't have to be insane or a hobby for the mentally ill. You're just assuming this outcome. As for being bitter and frustrated, I don't really see how since the waifu isn't going to stab you in the back like how a real relationship might.

 

Maybe this one guy is someone who has done both, hmm.