Hi folks, I'm 29yo male, having a girlfriend who understands my situation (PIED / can't get hard for intercourse) and is willing to support me. I'm in my 7th day in the 90 days recovery (PM - normal mode). My goal is to be able to have natural, healthy erections capable of successful and enjoyable sex that satisfies both her and me (right now I can't ever get hard enough for sex even just once). So with that goal, I wonder if it's good or bad if she touches and softly stroke my penis every night (currently she does so, and I do sometimes get semi-hard ons from that, just not enough for penetration). I've read from other sources that it would slow down the recovery process for PMO mode, but with my goal (PM), perhaps stimulations from a real girl can be beneficial? Any response is greatly appreciated, thanks!
I'm the same age as you. I started getting serious with nofap because of pied also. I would suggest to limit the amount of time of hand stimulation. Maybe once a week have your girlfriend do limited testing to see if it gets better. I'm currently in week 3 and my starting to get stronger erections in the morning. So just abstain from touching as much as possible.
I am a newb, so my thoughts on this might change as I got through reboot, but I would think the best course of action would be no stimulation, even from the girlfriend unless it was with the intention/goal of having sex. and then slowly add that back into it after you feel you have achieved some goals with the PIED. if then that causes issues, then back off again.
The thing to keep in mind is this is for your own personal gain. Make no mistake, we will be here for any support for your goals, but just know we're not much of a policing force. Only you can police yourself on this challenge. Whatever works for you, works for you. Nothing we say or do can change that. HOWEVER: take the time to understand yourself in this process. What is it that's making you feel like you aren't stimulated by someone you care about? Overexposure? Too much stimulus? Write it all down. Make sure to take time to really put yourself to the grind. Good luck.
Man, I am abstaining from everything! I just want to be abe to keep myself for my wife and make sure she knows how much I love her. I kept relapsing but this time this is my resolve. My wife has everything these girls have so why do I keep doing this and hurting my family!
Thanks for all the input, I'll note to her to reduce the sexual stimulations then. Won't be easy for her, but I hope she can understand. Same boat here bro, my gf looks hot, has all the right curves that the porn girls have, very lovely face and characteristics but still being to deep in PIED I cannot find the urge to have erections while being together with her. Hope that time will cure it, it's a week now.
I had a talk with a 33 year old with severe PIED, and he said on day 81-90 he attempted sex with wife and it was the best sex he ever had in his life. And NO ED for the first time in his life. That is enough encouragement for me to try. I have never had sex that was not ruined by ED. And I am 40.
Hello: Purely and amateur here, not a therapist or doctor....but it seems to me if the goal of NoFAP is to cure our PIED and allow us to have "normal" sex again, getting stimulation with your REAL partner is a good thing and the goal you are trying to reach. Logically, you want to avoid training your brain to be stimulated by porn or fantasies. Getting stimulated by your partner would seem to help your rewiring. Right?
I would agree if the results from the stimulus was that he had satisfactory sex with the wife/ Girlfriend. But if it makes him go PMO, then no. That is a decision for him to make.
I agree, Share the experience with her and relax, kess her, touch her, give her pleasure but only if it makes you desire her more. If it makes you go back to porn then it's a big no. Wish you the best man!
Thanks, that's what I'm thinking too. I should clarify that my situation with nofap is just that I *cannot* ever get a hard on to penetrate my gf (that's severe), but on the other hand my everyday life suffers nothing, I have a successful job, good relationship with everyone, hell I don't even feel stressed out or anything. My only reason to go nofap (and of course never looking back at PMO again once I succeed) is to have healthy erection again. Thanks for you two's inputs. I'm definitely determined to not ever go back to PMO regardless of the success of my reboot, do with that in mind, it's safe to stay stimulated with my gf right? Hey Big Al O))), could I ask some more questions regarding to this case? Is he in a similar situation as me? Does his wife give stimulations as well, or he avoid it completely during the 90 days process?
Yeah, I think stimulation from your girlfriend will help you rewire into a natural relationship and attraction! I would not try to get an erection though, just share the experience and relax. as someone said, focus on the woman not the sex. The objective would be to get comfortable and relaxed when interacting with your girl. Maybe even turn her on by touching her or giving her oral. See how your body responds to that. But don't focus the whole thing around you having an erection because it wont help neither of you. good luck! tell us how it goes.
I am a member of a couple of ED forums, and there a young man (under 40) with Severe ED, one day posted that he followed a 90 NoFap reboot , and that after 81+ days of No PMO, he not only had strong, normal erections without ED medications, he was able to have intercourse 3 times in a weekend, something he had never been able to do just once. It was through him that I learned about NoFap and how I ended up here. I was skeptical af first, but after learning about NoFap, reading the materials, and now that I am past a week of No PMO, I know I am on the right path to recovering from PMO addiction, PIED, and the compulsive behaviors associated with all of those things. Like I said before, I would abstain from any and all sexual stimulation, unless it was with the intended purpose to have sex with your SO right there and then. Not only your brain but your penis needs a break from over stimulation. If your penis is being stimulated all the time in a regular basis, how is your brain supposed to know the difference when it is time to have sex and when it is just routine every day touching? of course I am not a doctor, nor an expert, and my statements are not medical advice. This is just what makes sense to me based on what I have learned from my own experiences and by reading the experiences of others. You have to figure out what workout for you. Good luck my friend.
