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Feels great to have a 'clean' computer.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Tanizaki, Jan 29, 2018.

  1. Jan 29, 2018 #1
    Tanizaki

    Tanizaki Fapstronaut

    16
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    I am a few hours shy of my first week of PMO and it was been a strange time for me, but an interesting one. I had a desktop and laptop, as well as external hard drives all filled to the brim with all manner of pornographic content, spanning just about as many genres as you can imagine and a lot of very extreme content as I grew increasingly desensitized to my viewing material and found myself seeking out increasingly stronger content to get the same buzz.

    All of these are now in storage and I have bought myself a low spec second hand lap top.

    I've had only a few thoughts of relapse and am feeling confident at the present of resisting my urges. None the less, I have installed a porn blocker and am avoiding watching any movies or online content that could serve as triggers.

    It's an empowering feeling to not worry about leaving the laptop open when I go out and I feel a better person for not being only a few clicks away from temptation.
     
    Tanizaki, Jan 29, 2018
    Tanizaki, Jan 29, 2018
    #1
    Optimum Fortitude and diogo431509 like this.
  2. Jan 29, 2018 #2
    Veritable

    Veritable Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    For me it's always fighting 'incognito mode'. I had so many outlets once I crossed that threshold (Craigslist, Reddit, etc.) that it's like as soon as I breach that barrier I've crossed the gateway into letting myself go, and I find myself in a place lacking self-control. I start snooping on other sex forums, finding anonymous women to chat with, reading erotica, and in the past even attempting to access social media and emails of women that I knew that I suspected had sexual pictures of themselves on their personal accounts. I was obsessed.

    It does indeed feel good not to even right-click that browser and even start the descent. Technology is always going to be a gateway, especially for someone tech savvy. It's part of the process I think to learn and re-establish how to exist in this Internet space in a healthy way.
     
    Veritable, Jan 29, 2018
    Veritable, Jan 29, 2018
    #2
  3. Jan 29, 2018 #3
    Tanizaki

    Tanizaki Fapstronaut

    16
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    Yeah, don't get me wrong...I'm aware that I am still just a few tip tap tips away from seeing my favourite performers getting up to all sorts of mischief, but have increasingly come to view this with some passive indifference and the idea just doesn't appeal now I have made this decision.

    I think the blocker is just for effect, as I know my own password...

    I'm curious to see how I feel when it comes to relaxing my guard a little. I say this just as I don't want to walk around with blinkers on my whole life when it comes to avoiding erotic art, literature and film - something I am doing at present whilst acclimatising but am hoping I can have a more healthy reconnection with in the future, once I have recalibrated.
     
    Tanizaki, Jan 29, 2018
    Tanizaki, Jan 29, 2018
    #3

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