i'm all alone all day every day

hey everyone
i want to share my story with you and i hope you exuse my english cause i'm from morocco
let start from the beginning .. i have been watching porn like forever ever since i was 16 or so and it was never something to think about it was just something i do maybe once in a month or so i'm 27 now back in 2010 i start realising that porn is a problem for me
because i start getting away from my only love in life sport parkour i remember saying to my self if i stop watching this for 23 days i'm okey but i never could until this point i was still normal having friends smoking weed (hachich) hanging around and in 2014 i meet with a new friend he was gay but i didn't know we became friends and he was a good person and a good friend i remember when we smoke weed together and i start talking about life and stuff you weed gets deep he used to give this looks with his eyes that but i didn't think then he was in love with me or even he's gay ... you will say how is that related to porn matter well at that point i used to watch porn almost everyday when i smoke weed and go home all i can think about is porn and that makes me a little weird around people kind of slow in my reactions but i did notice that people start treating me carefully and i didn't know why until one this friend of mine by the way he is from another city but living in my city we were in a cofe smoking and playing cards and friend of mine was in that cofe said to me we heard something really bad about you and start lauphing in this moment my sleepy brain was awake and start seeing everything and because i was acting weird and i like to dress well everyone now believe that i'm a homo and when i go out to do my daily things like buying milk all i get is hate from poeple homosexuality is hated so much maybe considered by this ignorant fucks i live among the ultimate sine when i find out that all people things i'm gay i start losing interest in everything exept for porn that make me forget for some time i even stayed in front of porn sites more then 8 hours in one day i'm trynig to quit now today in day number 7 wich me luck

 

hey agbenu
thruth to be told i did watch gay porn i remember one time i stayed on porn sites like for more then two hours but nothing give me the excitement to come and when i watch gay porn i come immidiatly but i think i come cause i feel like a shouldn't do it here is something interesting about my sexuality when i was 13 i remember jumping to a neighbor house and musterbate i got verry excited that it didn't take long to come and about gay thought i did have them but only about one guy from france and he is verry handsome and gay he was working with a friend of mine we've met and talk about too many things i liked his personality i think he was trying to impress me but i never talk to him again ..
it's not eazy to live in a society where everyone hate gay people and be friend with one .. i guess after this experience of mine bieng called gay i start feeling bad about gay poeple if i'm not even gay and people hate me the one that actually is gay treated more badly
i'm trying now to get a job outside my city and start a new life
thanks for support man