Nothing but stress for me. I can deal with triggering images and get by urges but when that stress really hits (which is most of the time now), I lose my will power as it's an extreme battle and I need to make a quick decision to do something engaging. It always leaves me knackered.
My most common triggers in order: 1. Stress - I just need a release. The walls are too thin to scream it out. 2. Boredom - I'm alone with internet access and I habitually just go to the Bad Sites. 3. Depression - that little voice is saying "go on, it'll make you feel good, you're going to relapse eventually anyway, just go for it. how much worse can your life be?"
For me I do a good amount of mindful meditation, lots of yoga and stretching, force myself to do things I don't want to including productive activities like learning or game making, and the biggest thing is to breath properly, deeply, when the stress really strikes and really pay attention to your surroundings and not what you're feeling. A good old hot bath does me some good as well, my SO sets one up for me once in a while and it's nice. I manage a balance with depression and anxiety, plus other current stressors so it's not easy but at least I'm just making it by so far.
What kind of games do you make? Sorry about depression and anxiety. I struggle with depression and PTSD, its tough stuff. I will be praying for you Sarah. Keep fighting!
1. A sinful heart. 2. My hormones are kicking in. (Horny). 3. I just want to relax. 4. Alcohol. 5. Image triggers via social media. 6. Extreme urge. 7. Lust, fantasy, coveteousness 8. Idolatry.
It seems like my main triggers are: Loneliness Stress Random Fantasizing/urges Feelings of depression Boredom Fear Anxiety
I don’t know I just have weak moments sometimes. It’s weird that I can stick to my diet but I can’t seem to stick to NoFap. Maybe this next time around with NoFap will work out.
looking back at my journals I've realized that almost all of my relapses are caused by the urges I get once a flatline ends. imo I think urges are important to any streak -- fighting them sort of builds a callous that gets thicker and thicker every time you beat one. so when the flatline hits and I get that sharp drop in libido, I feel like I get conditioned to those quiet days that pass by without any real fight. when I'm not working out those self control muscles, I get weak, and become totally vulnerable to the urges once they come back. this cycle gets me every damn time, but at least I've realized the pattern
It really sucks, my urges take a long time to show and I usually feel like I'm doing good or progressing, but I don't think that's necessarily true for me. Because if I don't have urges for two/three months then end up relapsing when they show because of stress and lack of control, how have I progressed at all? I'd say it was the illusion of progress, and those urges were a test to try and pull you back in. I'm sick of it really. To me no pain equals no progress, because a flatline doesn't teach or do anything for my brain, it's when it tries to fight me that matters. I honestly WISH I got them a lot as I'd build up willpower and discipline, but I feel as if my brain purposely does a flatline like this just to be a bloody tosser. This is by far the worst and most aggravating addiction I've had to beat yet.
Man, I say the same shit to myself. I’ve stopped smoking, using drugs, and eating like shit, and I think “why is NoFap so fucking difficult?!”
