Ok, so you just "relapsed". Calm down. Breathe. Stop the drama. Stop the "I'm so sick of this" comments. Don't get angry. Don't feel guilty. It won't do you any good. I made this mistake so many times in the past. Here's what usually happens: A guy relapses and masturbates to porn. He couldn't take it anymore and had an hour long porn session. After he's done, he feels terrible with himself. He comes to the forum and posts on his journal. "What a fucking pussy I am" "I can't believe I gave in, how will I ever beat this?" "I've had enough of this shit" "My life is a mess" Sometimes he feels angry. Sometimes he feels guilty. Sometimes he feels down. He takes relapse very seriously and ends up feeling very bad with himself. He then goes and commits mistake no.1, in order to stop feeling bad, he medicates himself with porn,which in turn will make him feel more bad afterwards. So he binges until he's completely depleted. Then he tries rebooting again, remaining completely unaware of his mistake. Some days later he relapses and once again goes hard on himself, unable to break free of this cycle. Listen, the next time you relapse, don't be hard on yourself. Calm down. Open your "relapse spreadsheet" (which I believe everyone should have) and mark the current date with an X. Then calmly get back on track as soon as possible. Minimize your binge as much as you can. You're not back to zero every time you watch porn. There is this damaging belief in the forum that success is measured by how many straight days you go without porn. Please understand. Let's use some common sense here. If a guy goes from watching porn every day to watching porn 3-4 times a month, then he's already successful. Why would a guy like him be so hard on himself every time he relapses? It just doesn't make any sense. He's way ahead millions of men around the world who are completely hooked on porn. All he needs to do is keep trying to reduce the amount of relapses per month. That's why I believe having a spreadsheet is crucial. It will give him some perspective on how much he has progressed. With time he will discover that the chaser effect loses its strength. Getting back on track after relapsing gets easier and easier. He might or might not be able to get into the Hall of Fame, but it doesn't matter. The addiction no longer has control over him. That, my friends, is true success. And the mere fact that you're a member of this forum and you're trying to leave porn behind is enough reason to be proud and stop beating yourself.. Be active on the forums.. read articles and reboot logs of other people.. learn from your mistakes. Never let the same flame burn you twice.. aim for progress...
Ok. You can try this.... When I first started was hard for me too. From day 1 you have to commit to a simple rule..... ''No less then before'' What this basically means is that you move slowly. If you, lets say, PMO every 2 days or so, and you cant hold on more. Try making it into 3 days, and then PMO. The rule is that under no circumstances can you PMO less then you did before. You can repeat the same as before, but NO LESS!!! I managed to build myself up with this teachneque from 2 to 7 days, now im working myself up to 14! Meditation excercises also help, if you're interested I can share some...
