Mo'd after 130 days x(

Thechosenone · Oct 23, 2014

Well today I mo'd. I dnt really know how I feel, I'm not sure about my nofap journey because before I tried to quit, I stopped doing a lot of things. I feel like I kind of need to fap to let myself have fun because for some reason I'm not.

I'm making myself feel really bad about having fun doing anything and it feels like there's a massive burden on me, I don't think I've accepted the fact that I'm older I'm still kind of childish, I'm 21 but still judge things based I think it things should be which are irrational...

I'm trying to be a pro adult Mr responsible, but it's all an act and I need someone to help show me how to take care of myself, I'm being really ridiculous...I just can't remember how to be old fun self
Eh

Anyway I hope you guys are progressing well, these 130 have improved the quality of my life but I cant seem to shake off this feeling, is it because I forced myself to quit all things fun when I wanted to quit fapping? Lol? I thought it was time to knuckle down or something idk!

Thanks if you've read this, I'd like to know what you think

JasonC · Oct 23, 2014

Hey man, There's a ton of people on here, including me, that look up to you for what you've already accomplished. 130 days, that is awesome! The fact that it's been done and is therefore do-able gives me hope. Thank you!

You mentioned that you feel like you've "quit all things fun". What have you replaced MO'ing with? I couldn't do this without replacing PMO with something else. For me it's many things spiritual like prayers and scriptures, but I also began exercising every day as well as spending lots of time here.

Good luck and much success!

barnyjay · Oct 23, 2014

Yes I agree. 130 days is great. I'm far from it. I admire you for golding out so long. Wish you well.

Sonu1983 · Oct 23, 2014

Dont worry bro no pmo means killing our all sexual desire while we r strongly attached to it. it too tough. but there is a say try try until succeed. u gane for 130 days thats awesome bro. try again. and if u feel to get relapse next time try to do some real sex instead of fap.

Pellaeon · Oct 23, 2014

Hey TheChosenOne,

I don't know many details about you situation, but it sounds like you have been spending a lot forcing yourself to do things you don't really want to do, because you think that you "should" be doing them.

In my opinion, this is a recipe for disaster. Do only what you want to do with your life. Remember that you always have a choice. With that being said, most of us prefer to wear clean clothes, and to have clean clothes you either need to launder them, or constantly buy new clothes. Now often, playing videogames is more pleasant of a task than laundering my clothes, but my desire to wear clean clothes is greater than my desire to play videogames all the time...so I launder my clothes on a regular basis.

Eliminate the word "should" from your vocabulary. Do what you want to do, taking into account the consequences of your choices. If you tell yourself you "must" or "should" do something, you are setting yourself up to feel bad no matter what you do. If you do what you "should" have done, then you feel bad for doing what you didn't want to. Likewise, if you don't do what you "should" have done, you feel bad for being "childish." You can't circumvent all of this by only analysing your choices in terms of the consequences you want to cause.

In any case, congratulations on 130 days! Well done sir.

Thechosenone · Oct 24, 2014

Thank you guys so much for your useful insights! I really appreciate it.

@pellaeon I think you've raised a really important issue for me, because you've hit the nail on the head. Throughout my life I've been sacrificing the things I like doing for responsibilities, to get them over and done with.

Even at school I would be the best student I could be exhaust myself and come home to relax. But lately I haven't had that time to recharge and The cues I used to get to tell me I don't have to do anything else, have stopped coming.

I like doing quite a few things but these activities involve looking for validation, I used to upload to youtube a lot so I will be doing that as my Pmo replacement activity as Im sure deep down its what I want to be doing

Can't thank you guys enough for inspiring me once again, I wish you all the best and we should remain in contact!

Randy25 · Oct 24, 2014

Can you tell us about the improvements you saw in the 130 days? That is a long time and you probably saw a lot of change. Good job on getting to that point

Thechosenone · Oct 24, 2014

Hey Randy25!

The improvements have been important ones, they seem subtle as in I can't put a finger on it, but they really are beginning to improve me more noticeably:

-more eye contact with people
-I don't fear going out and talking as much
-I don't feel anxious that something might happen to me when I leave my comfort zone
-more facial hair growth
-I don't anticipate bad feelings, I stop worrying that I'm not good enough to do certain things
-way deeper and commanding voice
-I have more integrity
-confidence is moving to where it should be, It's subtle but it's there and growing
-improved focus and I can get tasks finished with more productive thinking faster
-Some girls have come and talked to me which is always nice, I welcome things more
-there are more things that have been boosted I can't list them fully, but my day to day interactions & experiences are better & more vivid in general

It's like the wound is healing, it's taking care of itself and I'm moving into my fuller potential!

I would say that these benefits are more of a side effect of not pmoing, and because of the strength of sexuality you've experienced/expressed by pmoing, you're allowing more experiences not involving pmo to come into your world to take its place! The mountain of pmo will be replaced by the mountain of you & your endeavours!

All the best guys!!

hillcountry · Oct 24, 2014

JasonC said: ↑

Hey man, There's a ton of people on here, including me, that look up to you for what you've already accomplished. 130 days, that is awesome! The fact that it's been done and is therefore do-able gives me hope. Thank you!

You mentioned that you feel like you've "quit all things fun". What have you replaced MO'ing with? I couldn't do this without replacing PMO with something else. For me it's many things spiritual like prayers and scriptures, but I also began exercising every day as well as spending lots of time here.

Good luck and much success!
Click to expand...

one of the things that helping me today is the scripture from Psalm 119 verse 11: "I have treasured your word in my heart so that I might not sin against you." and verse 1: how happy are those whose way is blameless, who live according to the law of the Lord!"

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Mo'd after 130 days x(

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