A Progressive Challenge-A different kind of challenge- all levels

relapsed ,now taking on 5 days goal again

 

3/3! =)
On to the next challenge...3/6

 

Day 37 PMO free
Day 12 since our last conversation

yesterday night was a living hell for me,
I was laying in my bed for literally 5 hours and I just couldn't fall asleep
because my mind was blown with different thoughts (not about porn or masturbation but about my past)
and it just didn't let me rest.
I tried to go for a walk around the room, I took a big glass of water, I washed my face,
I opened the window to get some air, I tried to count to 100 again and again and AGAIN
but nothing helped.
I just found myself at 3 in the morning scrolling her Instagram pictures,
reading our old conversations on Whatsapp and dying inside.
It's funny because I just saw yesterday a quote that says :
"They say time is a healer but please, don't lose your mind before it happens"
I guess that was about me.
Please believe me, I don't crave for any sort of attention. I'm just tired of living.
I need some serious help

 

Sounds like you got issues in your past you need to work through and find peace about it!

I was seriously tempted at the weekend and had to just turn off my smartphone and go to bed before letting my misguided desires win. so its 31/60 today

 

Day 1 of 1. Now going for 2 days

 

Day 66/90
Woke up with a headache. Can't remember my dreams the last few days. Which is fine, but a little "empty". Feeling more positive today, reaching out to my friends and making social appointments. I'm gonna work out and exercise after writing here.
And I've been skipping my meditation for the last few days. I think I have come to a point where I need to face some as-of-yet unseen obstacle. It is a little frightening to start meditation. I guess I'll just have to power through.

Thanks for sharing! That is very brave of you, after what happened here in the thread. Thanks.
But this thread is a little old - maybe some things have changed since then? I think you would benefit from a new assesment on it and get more insight and clarity.
Also I notice you are using many negative words to describe yourself - maybe, just as an exercise, try to describe your situation from a neutral standpoint?

Good job, you are starting to get more awareness. I made a thread about this not to far back - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/short-term-pleasures-is-the-path-to-hell.151900/
The thing is, when we first start out with Nofap it is very hard to battle the urges - because it is like trying to stop a moving train with your bare hands. That's of course nearly impossible (but it can be done with great effort!). After a while of that, after spending so much energy to stop the moving train, we realize that we have to stop the train before it starts. This seems impossible too, but further on, we start to learn how to do that.
It all starts with growing awareness, and you are doing just that!

Exactly! This falls in line perfectly with what I'm trying to say to Aleksey.
Everyone is different, so I couldn't tell you exactly what to do, but I think you are on the right track, being prepared, having an emergency plan in place. Please share what works for you!

Yes! I support you.

Tres bon!

Congratulations, showing us all how it's done! Good job!

Thank you! Great post

Congratulations.!

Yay! Good job!

I know what you mean. I used to have a lot of insomnia. It is a part of breaking addiction. You are on the good path, have patience and perseverance. Don't worry about posting too much, craving attention, needing help, feeling desperate - that kind of thinking is just a means to an end (PMO), so just know that it is a part of going through withdrawals - your mind will do anything to trick you into getting that fix.
Like @Michael Sternig says, maybe you have some past issues. But don't force it - these things resolve with time and patience. Patience and humility is a part of the healing and finding peace.

Good decision. Know your enemy, know the battlefield! Congratulations on a month!

 

My current situation hmm. I ddint been in school for like 5 months. I am trying to do ,,impossible things' , i look much better than in the past.

 

Alright. Do you want to get back to school? The social life surrounding school can be frustrating, but in the end it is worth it. You learn invaluable skills by being around other people.

And the impossible things - what do you mean? Maybe you just have to break them up into smaller pieces, and get started, one at a time?

Yes, you said in the other thread that you lost a lot of weight - that's great! A good benefit. If you like working out and moving your body, maybe you would like to go to a sports school or a gymnastic team?
You have the age where everything is possible! I'm 30 years old and training Kung Fu, but I know that my time is running out, and I will never have the skills I could have had, if I had started out earlier. My body is aching and my joints are cracking and popping, lol!

 

Thanks to all of you.
I'm sorry for the cold reply, my mind is not functioning right now.
And I had another semen leakage (for the 3rd time now)
I want to relapse really bad!

 

4/6

 

Day 33/90 feeling better

 

4/10

Not having the willpower to keep fighting at the moment.

 

keep going bro. the feeling you get after beating an urge far outweighs the feeling of relapsing

 

I don’t have urges, so that’s good. I think I’m in a flatline. I would lay on the couch with my phone for the whole day if I could... Hope it’ll change soon.

 

3/5

 

Day 55/61..

 

Day 38 PMO free
Day 13 since our last conversation

I finally had a decent sleep last night.
I'm not gonna brag about it right now because I still feel like relapsing,
have an awesome day/night everyone.

 

day 67/90

Not much to tell, feeling good. Thank you guys for rebooting. We are doing this together.

Try cold showers!