I'm struggling to stop the onslaught of unwanted and intrusive thoughts and fantasies. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions? I'm desperate, it's killing my relationship, please help. Thank you
Intrusive thoughts will be a constant battle, but the longer you stay clean the easier it will become. While we were addicted we conditioned our brain to think about sex all the time. We may have used porn for any number of reasons. We might have to deal with those root causes before we notice any improvements. The brain will notice and react to a trigger within 33 milliseconds. So, you need to identify your triggers - physical, emotional, and environmental. Do what you can to avoid intentional exposure. Be prepared for triggers. Don't allow yourself to be in a position where you have an opportunity to give in to your urges. Feed your mind something else. Take up a hobby, activity, interest, or exercise. If you intend to rewire your brain then you need to give it something you want it to turn into. Lastly, it's going to take a lot of time. Your mind has developed deep ruts and you need to break up those ruts. It is exhausting and non-stop in the beginning, but eventually, you won't be as plagued with intrusive thoughts as you were when you started.
Have you tried a book on mindfulness? My husband said that is what helped him most with changing the way he was thinking, and being more present in the moment.
I've been p free for 198 days, it's just been tough to fill the void. I have hobbies, I just need to stay the course, keep working at it, and you're right be aware of triggers.
I have not yet, but thanks for the suggestion! I do EFT tapping, so that's probably the closest I get to mindfulness. I still enjoy doing the tapping, it can really help some days.