Guys, why should I even quit porn? Commitment crisis

I perfectly understand you. You know what ? I'm 22 now. I'm more older than your by 4 years. And if 4 years ago, when I was your age then, someone told me that porn was bad and would have a bad influence on my life, I wouldn't trust him. I wouldn't. I mean, a lot of my friends were masturbating just like me, and they had no problems in bed.

4 years later, I tried to have sex once. I couldn't even get it hard. I thought it was because of stress. But believe me, I was not that much stressed. So what was going wrong ?
Then social anxiety came in. I've never been the "cool kid", smiling to everybody and stuff, but I was not shy either during my teenage years. At around 20 I started to get very anxious around people (especially girls of course), something almost unbelievable. I never thought this social anxiety stuff could happen to me.

And some other things including being more and more lazy with studies for example. Then I discovered this website and I understood.
So my advice would be for you to start before it's too late. You're damn 18. You're supposed to live a life of parties, having fun with girls and buddies and so on, at least this is how it goes in France nowadays, even for Christian people. Of course don't forget to study eh, this is the other important part too. Don't miss those cool years of studying hard but still having a hell lot of fun with your friends just because you want to masturbate to some hardcore HD gangbang videos.

But be careful when you read my post, I just want to motivate you a bit. I'm not saying that :

1. You're missing everything that is good about being 18 if you don't bang girls in the nightclub's toilets every saturday
2. Masturbating to porn will turn you into a crazy awkward lazy guy, even though I suffered a bit from this
3. You went too far if you're still masturbating at 18

And I especially want to talk about me here. I thought there was nothing I could do to go back. But still I tried to stop fapping and here I am today, with a girlfriend and a way better life. This was unexpected 90 days ago, I'm not going to lie.

And I'm not going to lie ; if your life is going wrong, stopping porn is not the solution. I had to work with a lot of things during those 90 days. Health problems. Sport. Studies. And the list goes on. Stopping masturbating to this shitty porn stuff surely will make you a better man. But it's not enough if you want to know my opinion !

 

Thanks for that motivating post. Nice to hear from others that developed social anxiety and are recovering. Keep fighting!

 

The same thing happened to me. Exactly t h e s a m e
So listen to ADC, his post is completely true

I was damn popular man. I was outgoing because I was relaxed all the time. With 17 years of life and a lot of energy, I was going to clubs which i didn't necessarily dig, and I was literally banging a different chick every week. Even now it souns like the weirdest thing to me. Then PMO came in. I started around the highschool years, but it became worse when I discovered Internet P. My brain just automatically said "HEY! Why would you even be outgoing if you can get all of these easy girls on your screen?"

So I fell into it. I'm 21 now, and I'm starting to recover from a long streak of social awkwardness, anxiety, nervousness and lots and lots of loneliness for this.

When people tell you too much porn will ruin your life you better believe them man
Anyways I just wanted to share the story. The people running this forum are true heroes for us twenty-something socially-awkward semi-depressed chronic Mbators.

Best of luck

 

For me the information on the your rain website was very compelling. You are requiring your brain when you use porn on a regular basis. The earlier you start and the longer you do it the stronger those pathways get. You also risk needing more and more porn to get the same level of stimulation. The fact that you are asking the question is evidence that you suspect you have a problem. For me a big clue was that when I tried to stop looking at porn I couldn't stop myself even though I wanted too. So can you stop? If you can't then maybe just wanting to be the kind of person who controls their own destiny instead of being controlled by a habit may be motivation enough.

 

Ok kiddo,

Consider this. The porn industry treats people, specifically women, in a manner that would be considered illegal in any other business.

Visit the thepinkcross.org and read the testimonies of former porn stars, they are horrific. The majority of them were raped as children(usually by family) and/or forced into child prostitution.

Also watch these:

1) The testimony of former porn star Shelley Lubben who now works to put an end to the porn industry after her own experiences working in it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHo0bk3sv4I

2)The testimony of former porn star, Jessie Rodgers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHo0bk3sv4I

Once you've seen and read this stuff, consider that by consuming porn you are supporting these awful practices. By consuming porn you are saying it is ok to treat people, especially women, like objects that exist only to entertain and make money.

Further more, on a personal impact point of view. I'm 29, and have been with my wife for three years, married one of those years. She is the only woman I have had sex with, and no I was not abstaining it is just how my love life worked out. Anyway, in those three years I have not cum once from sex. Hell the first time we had sex I couldn't feel anything from my penis. The reason being that I had masturbated to porn so much, since I was about 16 (so about 10 years), that I had lost all sensitivity in my penis. Let me tell you man nothing makes you feel worse than not getting off from sex with the woman you love.

Since I have started nofap my penis has started to recover and while I have not cum yet but I can feel my self getting closer because my penis is finally regaining its sensitivity. This might not happen to you but don't risk it. I'm lucky in that my wife understands and is willing to help me in my journey to sexual health. But not everyone is that lucky.

 

Where you will see a huge difference, is in a long term relationship. Trust me, watching porn when I was dating my wife wasn't a problem (in terms of erectile dysfunction). 7 years later.. porn kept happening more.. and more.. until at some point I started seeing the start of ED.. at 27-28 years old!!! thats just not normal. so, I would PMO just fine, but a couple times couldn't get it up in bed. (probably because i watched porn during the day and had not the self control not to, even knowing that was the cause of the problem).

Think about the future!!!

 

Hi Nofap User,

Really, the best reasons are your reasons. You came here because you wanted to stop for some reason. If for some reason you reset, you will probably feel like complete shit about it. If that does happen, stop what you're doing, throw the tissues away, and write yourself a letter with all the reasons you have to quit. It can look like a list or an email. I keep mine on Evernote.com so I can access it anytime. Anytime you're thinking about why quitting is a good thing, add those thoughts into the letter. The letter will grow. Next time you're tempted to reset, pull out the letter and read over it. That has proven to be very helpful to me in the past.

 

So very true. The stuff I posted about information on the truth of the porn industry is a nice reason but your reason, your drive, to stop has to come from within.

You can get all sorts of reasons from the folks here on the forum and they will all be very passionate answers. But if you are not wholly committed you will not succeed. And, in all honesty, the only way for you to be completely committed is for you to passionately want to succeed, which means you have your own reason that you are passionate about.

 

@Karegador: listen, man. Not to knock any of what you are saying, but that link is dangerous. There's no "may act" about it, IMO. There are shots of porn being filmed there, as you stated, and I think it would be best to make that very clear. PAINFULLY clear.

I believe we are all in a highly sensitive state, and our brain would like nothing more than to tell us: "no no, it is okay. Certainly not harmful... why, you are doing research on getting better, if anything - this is helpful!"

The video peaked my curiosity precisely for that reason, and I randomly clicked around it to see what it was about. Let's just say I momentarily thought of resetting my counter due to what I saw. NOT pointing any fingers, mind, you are trying to help and your help is greatly appreciated - just saying perhaps be more cautious. Yes, it is a youtube video. Yes, it is a documentary film. HOWEVER, there are no guarantees beyond free will. For me, personally, that link was dangerous.

 

Here I feel that it is very useful to borrow from Alcoholics Anonymous: "we were willing to do whatever it takes..."

That is a basic attitude that they find necessary for an alcoholic to stop drinking.

When an alcoholic comes to the point of being willing to stop at nothing to become sober, they find that the fellowship of AA is powerful and useful toward the goal of staying sober.

However, if someone does not desire to stop drinking, or is not willing to do whatever it takes to stop drinking, they have found that AA is not going to do a drinker much good.

My feeling is, when you determine (now borrowing another AA term) that it is in your enlightened self-interest to stop masturbating or watching porn, then this forum is a powerful tool to that end. It has been so for me.

When I wanted to be masturbating and watching porn, that's what I did.

When I chose to stop, this forum became like a life-raft for me.

But I don't believe for a moment that you can be brought to a place of truly intending to stop PMO until-for your OWN reasons-YOU desire to stop.

May you be blessed on your journey.

PS I do love how I feel when I am sexually sober (free of PMO). But that's just my experience. This is your life!

 

Hmmm...I didn't experience that, instead I came out of it sickened to the point of not thinking about porn.

That said, I apologize for doing that to you and have edited the link out of the post to prevent any further damage. Last thing I want to do is undermine everyone's efforts here.

I apologize to anyone who had a similar response to the film.

For the record, the reason I research the misdeeds of the porn industry is because , at least for me, it gives me a boost to my will power to say no to urges to view porn because I absolutely do not want to support an industry like that. I suppose for me it is aversion therapy that I find useful.

Maybe I'm an exception to the general norm. With that in mind I will refrain from saying anything about it in the future. Given that some of the material I have used has proven harmful to others, which was never my intent.

Once again, my apologies to anyone harmed by any material I have shared.

 

@Karegador:

I certainly didn't mean you should edit it out completely. There are others who can benefit from your experiences, no doubt. Instead, perhaps state more clearly that are scenes of actual porn being filmed.

There is no need for apology, at least from my end. It was wonderful that you wanted to share the things that help you out. Understanding the inner-workings of the porn industry is also something which aided me in my decision to quit. It is a moral issue, and it should also be discussed.

Do not refrain from saying anything about it in the future or posting. Different strokes for different folks. Keep posting. This is your way, your journey.

I didn't watch the full video. Perhaps I would have had the same reaction as you, and in the long run it may have benefited me. I simply cannot risk it at this point in my journey. I am still too sensitive for it. However, for others it may just the thing they need - to have reality thrust right in front of them, and forced into their faces on the very screens and monitors they used to contribute to that industry!

Onward and upward!!