Dear fellow Fapstronauts, I would like to begin by saying an enormous thank you for all the motivating and inspiring stories. I believe what makes each story that much more potent and powerful, is the mere fact that i can relate to what has been said. First things first, I'll begin with a tedious but worthwhile background of how i became engrossed into pornograpghy and masturbation. I am an eighteen year old straight male, that first discovered masturbation at the age of eleven. It wasn't until year seven in high school that I was exposed upon porn (thirteen years old). The frequency of my masturbation was no more than once per week, and was not influenced by porn. This soon began to diminish as I was gradually masturbating more and more per week in order to attain the same level of stimulation. At fourteen i started masturbating to pornography. Initially it wouldn't take me long at all to attain sexual satisfation from straight vanilla sex. As time elapsed, I found myself searching for more and more explicit material to stay sexually satisfied, also known as the coolidge affect. If you would like to know more in depth about the topic, than i would suggest checking out Gary Wilson's; 'ted talks'. Link in the brackets (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU) As I was saying, my fetish's were becoming more and more disturbing in order to maintain that sexual high. My progression through porn started as listed below in descending order [NSFW]~ Lesbian ~ Heterosexual ~ Threesome ~ Deep throat ~ Throat fucking ~ Orgy ~ Gang bang ~ BBW ~ Granny ~ Homosexual[/NSFW] Feeling incredibly dissatisfied with myself and thinking; "what the f*** am i doing". I was beginning to question my own sexuality. Depressive even suicidal thoughts started to occur leaving me immensely demotivated, lethargic, and disinterested in the world around me. This had a detrimental affect on my academic success through school. Ironically i began to experience all types of negative symptoms but i was certain that it wasn't related to PMO. In fact the thought didn't even cross my mind. The negative effects included ~ Increased acne ~ Joint pain (especially in right knee) ~ Thinning of hair ~ Terrible immune system (also getting sick) ~ Insomnia ~ Loss of appetite ~ Low energy/fatigue ~ Poor memory skills ~ Eye floaters ~ Decreased testicle size (well appears that way anyway) Finally, i stumble across this 'nofap' page and am truly amazed by the unbelievable benefits that individuals have been experiencing. Initially i just thought it was a placebo effect, until i managed to trail it out. This was a long drawn out process and involved many relapses consisting of any where between 1 to 21 days (that has been my best attempt to this day). It was quite a while ago so i am not going to list the benefits that occurred in that twenty one day period incase i sightly mistake them. Real life intimacy The first time I had sex it was amazing, and i lasted well over 40 minutes which was absolutely alarming (eighteen years). Anyhow that soon passed as the second time with a (different girl), it was quite the opposite ejaculating too quickly and having problems maintaining an erection also know as erectile dysfunction. I have made a conscious decision to NEVER watch porn and masturbate again. My addiction has been so intense that i have eliminated any source that could potentially set me off in to a relapse these include ~ Installing K9 website on computers ~ Restrictions in the settings on iPhone/ipad ~ Sleeping with my phone in a different room ~ Writing a routine and sticking with it to stay busy and forget about PMO ~ When i feel an urge I either have depending on where i am. A cold shower, a short workout (pushups or sit ups) or just putting down all technology and going for a walk/run outside ~ Flicking your self in the testicles is a another way to divert the brain from thinking about sexual material (although i would only do that at a last resort) Anyway I am starting my nofap journey today, the 4th of November 2014. I will post weekly for a recap on the symptoms i am experiencing, wish me luck. Feel free to comment on anything that you were unsure about or didn't like
Good luck to you. For me, it's important to stay focused and ever-vigilant. P will take a mile if you give it an inch.
"Joint pain in the right knee"??? I've had that too! I thought that was totally unrelated! Damn, that gives me even more reason to give this up!
I have actively been staying busy to reduce to potential for relapse, so sorry if I didn't respond. Thank you all for the kind words. God bless. Nearly on day six and a skin infection called dermatitis has started to occur. there has been other reports of this also, so I'm not sure if it's coincedence or not
Hello Midnight Motivation, must read this: There is hope. When I read your post, I was thinking myself, wow this guy is exactly where I was 3 months ago. Bro, I am here to tell that what you are going through right now will come to past. This pain of ED is temporary, only on 1 condition, strictly NO viewing fetish porn or any fantasy in your mind. Keep that clean, stay clean and you will achieve what I have achieved after just 84 days. (You will find out in this post) So here is my Story: A bit about myself, entrepreneurs coach, journalist. I started porn at 9, gradually trapped in twisted porn by 11 years old, until October last year. I am currently 84 days in, free from PMO and I've got to say, the changes and growth I have experienced in life in the past 3 months has been absolutely amazing! And when you say the word ''degrading fetish porn'' i know exactly what you mean by that. At first at 18, I was able to have sex, but always wonder how I can't orgasm inside her.(Delayed orgasm due to desensitise nerves) Broke up in that relationship, my company took off, stress, went back to extreme porn viewing on roughly a daily basis. Eventually watching enough of this fetish shit, I wanted to experience the fetish and I actually went to professionals to fulfil those fantasy when ever I am stress. One word, don't do it! I was fucking addicted. And I ended up losing all desire and mojo with normal hot, sexy, beautiful women. Going this deep rabbit hole, I realise something was wrong, manly and masculine during day on the outside, at night or during private time I will feel horny whenever those twisted femdom fantasy hit me. That stopped completely when I started learning and getting really good at picking up woman, dating them, and going to bed with them. Except I can't play out with the last step, I started landing really hot friends with benefits due to my maturity and Charisma I was able to radiate, but every time I hear the word ''I want you to fuck me now'' or ''I want you'' or ''put it inside me'', I do it, and my penis will go soft. And later, filled with anger, frustration, confusion and sadness. I still remembered in the beginning of all this, I experienced PIED in bed with multiple women I really liked, beautiful inside and out. And when we got in bed, PIED hit me, I just felt confused, defeated, broken and angry at myself, along with the disappointment and the disappearance of that woman. (P.S. Some of them even offered me ED pills - Levitra) I went through every solution that I can find out there, I bought MACA pills, Cialis you name it. I was just freaking out and scared to death. At one point I thought to myself, that's it, my life will forever be alone. That is until recently, I met someone, and by committing a strict no PMO, and initially trying out Cialis, I had amazing sex, from a little bit of ED, it improved to Delayed Ejaculation, to now can have mutual orgasm on demand without any pills!!! (YES, Cialis worked and it got my confidence up to enjoy sex and commit fully porn free, fantasy free) So here is my story, i want to let you know it is possible. My life has drastically improved in every possible area. I am 22 this year, and company is taking off because I got this sick addiction fixed. Before those fantasy will degrade me and brainwash me into someone I am not! Fucking fantasy blocked my view on reality and stole away my purpose and destiny! If I can go back in time and punch that computer when I was young and tell that 11 years old self I would, but I can't do that, BUT! What I can do is commit starting NOW! and just wait and watch all your masculinity, charisma, charm, testosterone come back. And sit back, relax and enjoy watching your old self (created by the lies) in porn disappear in your sight! Now I focus my life on working on women (dating and sex), my passion in entrepreneurship, sports (boxing), public speaking, you name it! Keep yourself busy! Simply direct that sexual energy inside you and use that energy into something that will build you rather than cripple and dehumanise you! BRO! I look forward to hear your victory and success! This is my Whatsapp: +852 5395 8483, feel free to give me a buzz, more than willing to support each other! Until then!
i heard eyefloaters can be caused by pmo. besides some other related health issues, it was one of my mainreasons to stop it. over the last couple of years i got increasingly disturbed by this. i have only 5 days without pmo but i think i already notice the floaters fading ever so slightly. this is great! i didn't expect that! i will definetly keep going! i almost relapsed yesterday, and am happy i pulled through! keep resisting, it's worth it!
This would be so much easier without having obsessive compulsive disorder. Obsessing about my orientation is honestly such a nightmare. But I am about to start treatment for OCD and I am going with the noFap challenge. Today will mark day 5 without any PMO. I remember by the time I was about 16-17 I was already gaining such a tolerance to standard DVD porn. That really says something.
Thanks for posting. I have experienced similar affects. The only thing is that I don't think porn blockers and such will ever help me, because my disease is so bad that I would eventually just find a way around it.
Yes, I've tried porn blockers and adding safe search filters but it never works. You always find a way to get some kind of artificial sexual material. The brain addicted to porn is clever enough to come up with new methods of obtaining material all the time. This is about learning self control. You will always come across sexual imagery on TV or in your mind and you have to learn to say, "no."
