Cold turkey hasnt been working for me.

When my alcohol abuse was way out of control, I tried "cold turkey" at first. It went well until it didn't. The problem with "cold turkey" is that any use at all is a failure. Then, one day I said to myself, "why am I being so puritanical?" The problem wasn't alcohol, per se; it was drinking alcohol stupidly. And so, I said to myself "why don't I create a certain set of rules, so that I can still partake in something I enjoy, as long as it's in moderation". I drafted a certain set of rules for myself, with the understanding that if I couldn't figure out how to drink moderately, then I wouldn't be able to drink at all. My rules were to never drink alone, never drink more than two drinks during a day, never drink more than two times during a week, and never use alcohol to celebrate or to medicate. If I had the worst day ever, drinking wasn't allowed to be the answer.

The moderate approach to alcohol actually worked for me. Not only did it bring a problem under control and allowed me to enjoy a good drink, but I eventually came to a point where I didn't feel like I needed or wanted to drink at all. If I choose to drink, it's something that's under my control, versus the other way around. For now, I'm happy not drinking.

I think many of us are so addicted that PMO that we need be really careful how we allow it into our lives. On the other hand, I see all of the depression and self-beating that goes on when people relapse. I wonder if moderation wouldn't be a better approach for some people. I tend to think that establishing limits for yourself--whether it's every other day, twice a week, or even once a week is better than allowing yourself limitless exposure to PMO. For me, the question I always ask myself remains: is this something that I control or is it something that controls me?

I'm getting close to 40 days now, so moderation isn't my current approach. The idea that I'll never "get off" again seems as ludicrous as the idea that I'll never have another sip of wine or beer. The important thing is that I reexamine my relationship with all of this--and I stop using PMO as a means to an end.

 

I'm thinking the exact same thing. I relapsed 2 days ago and after my relapse I said the same thing. I will make a masturbation schedule, start with a gap of 2 days then increase each time by one day.

What have you got to lose? try it and see if it works for you. I changed my mind after I got one day sober again lol . So im going cold turkey again. But I say try it

 

I have allowed myself to MO during my most successful streaks. It's a razors edge though. Once you get going, your brain can get back in PMO mode, and it can control you. Next thing you know, you're watching porn again. The 'having nothing to lose approach' is not good. You do have a lot to lose, and have probably already lost more than you even realize. It has to be taken very seriously whether you allow MO or not. I would have MO in your back pocket for emergencies; only do it when you're about to relapse. You should definitely not do it often at all. The nature of this addiction is always wanting something new; if you're doing it every day, it's only a matter of time before you want something new.

Good luck!

 

I have a question for you: How is jacking off to images in your imagination any different from doing it to porn?

 

very very sensitive aproach. be very careful with that. the "moderation" attitude has huge pitfalls. in my own experience you CAN´T control this thing. and if you believe you can that´s the addiction talking - "come on, just this once, you got this under control, just a snack...".

believe me, if you truly are addicted then you can´t control it. and it´s pretty obvious: if you could control it you wouldn´t be addicted in the first place.

i have tried dozens of controled aproachs towards porn. all of them failed. i know it´s a hard pill to swallow but see for yourself. if you keep on relapsing and falling off your plan, them you must face the facts: cold turkey is the only way out.