Chronic Overthinking + Social Awkardness

Datme · Apr 6, 2018

Hello everybody

I suffer from overthinking for such a longtime and it's especially now very difficult to face it.

At the very first days of my NoFap journey I felt very blissful and one with everybody and everything but now I begin to suffer of what I think are withdrawal symptoms.

These include: Super awkwardness, not being able to talk probably (For some reason I can't get out of my words or I want to say something but I don't know how), being super aware of everything I say to other people, A dreadful feeling of emotions I feel it mostly in my belly, enormous moodswings and of course overthinking

I try to mediate every 20 minutes and I have been doing this now for 22 days. I get results in a way that I can sometimes feel very peaceful and I enjoy being in the moment and I can control my sexual urges very well but I still have problems that I can't get rid of.

Somebody got any advice for me?

Holden Caulfield · Apr 6, 2018

Hi, I had somehow similar symptoms being fallen in love. Is there anything that bother you besides PM?

Skillic - Kaiser · Apr 6, 2018

Hi @Datme , ditto here bro. I too have mood swings and overthink stuff a lot. I think I may know why this is happening. Before, we could PMO our way out of any uncomfortable situation but now, during reboot, we don't have PMO and hence we're denied the only coping mechanism we know of. I constantly find that I overthink things just because I want to make sure that I don't face any negative emotions/consequences because I have not developed an ability to cope with them.
I think the only way to stop this is to build some confidence (though I have not yet been able to do that). This will make us braver and cause us to think less before taking a decision. The trick maybe to find a safe space (a source of confidence), something that NO ONE OR THING can take away from us, in our heads. Of course, this is easier said than done but, I believe this is key.

What do you think ?

Datme · Apr 6, 2018

Holden Caulfield said: ↑

Hi, I had somehow similar symptoms being fallen in love. Is there anything that bother you besides PM?
Click to expand...

I have a girlfriend so personally this is not a problem for me. The challenge for me is that we have a long distance relationship but at the same time it is going to be great when I see her back and I fully abstained myself from PMO.

However I do agree that it is kinda the same feeling. There are some stressful thoughts about my college education but I am studying pretty frequently so also this shouldn't be a stressful thought at all. I also have the feeling that I HAVE to exercise or HAVE to do something productive and eventually I will do it but still it gives me stress. Normally this wasn't the case before I started this journey.

What I did experience before I started my journey was guilt after being drunk at a party and I could also overthink the scenario over and over that I said something weird because I was drunk and that now people will judge me because of my behavior even though they were probably drunk themselves.

Skillic - Kaiser said: ↑

Hi @Datme , ditto here bro. I too have mood swings and overthink stuff a lot. I think I may know why this is happening. Before, we could PMO our way out of any uncomfortable situation but now, during reboot, we don't have PMO and hence we're denied the only coping mechanism we know of. I constantly find that I overthink things just because I want to make sure that I don't face any negative emotions/consequences because I have not developed an ability to cope with them.
I think the only way to stop this is to build some confidence (though I have not yet been able to do that). This will make us braver and cause us to think less before taking a decision. The trick maybe to find a safe space (a source of confidence), something that NO ONE OR THING can take away from us, in our heads. Of course, this is easier said than done but, I believe this is key.

What do you think ?
Click to expand...

I think you are right. We are probably not used to face our problems head on because before we were spiking our dopamine to feel good and we neglected the bad stuff.

I do not fully understand what you mean with "Finding a safe space". Do you mean that we need to find something in our mind like a vision/goal and that because we are really good at this particular skill that we have developed over time that we are getting more confident and we get our confidence from this source?

Skillic - Kaiser · Apr 6, 2018

Datme said: ↑

I have a girlfriend so personally this is not a problem for me. The challenge for me is that we have a long distance relationship but at the same time it is going to be great when I see her back and I fully abstained myself from PMO.

However I do agree that it is kinda the same feeling. There are some stressful thoughts about my college education but I am studying pretty frequently so also this shouldn't be a stressful thought at all. I also have the feeling that I HAVE to exercise or HAVE to do something productive and eventually I will do it but still it gives me stress. Normally this wasn't the case before I started this journey.

What I did experience before I started my journey was guilt after being drunk at a party and I could also overthink the scenario over and over that I said something weird because I was drunk and that now people will judge me because of my behavior even though they were probably drunk themselves.

I think you are right. We are probably not used to face our problems head on because before we were spiking our dopamine to feel good and we neglected the bad stuff.

I do not fully understand what you mean with "Finding a safe space". Do you mean that we need to find something in our mind like a vision/goal and that because we are really good at this particular skill that we have developed over time that we are getting more confident and we get our confidence from this source?
Click to expand...

When you're insulted/criticized or whenever you're experiencing negative emotions, it's like somebody or something (read Life) is bombing you or shooting at you. What do you do when somebody's firing at you ? You look for cover or shelter i.e. a SAFE SPACE. A place where you're shielded from the effects of the firing so that you can think of a strategy to overcome it.

What I meant by safe space in this context is a place/thought/belief in your head that you can go to when you're experiencing these negative emotions. Earlier our safe space was PMO but now, we'll have to build it ourselves. It needn't always be a goal/vision. It could be some achievement that you're proud of that nobody can take away from you. Basically, when you're down (emotionally) you go to this place i.e remember your achievements or remind yourself of this goal so you can still keep going without being affected by those emotions.

For eg. You want to talk to a girl. You think she's pretty but you're afraid you'll say something awkward so you sit and think about how the conversation could go and what you should and shouldn't say. All this is in your head. Meanwhile, nothing is happening in reality. I can think of so may other examples where I do this. But, If I had some confidence, I wouldn't be worried about the outcome because I have a SAFE SPACE in my head. I can go to this place and feel better about myself whenever I want. I don't care if the conversation is awkward because I won't beat myself up for it. Being in my safe space has taught me to like myself and value myself.

Of course, like I said in my previous post, finding such a place is easier said than done. Hope I've answered your question.

Datme · Apr 8, 2018

Boeing747 said: ↑

Your problem right now is the meditation, doing so much of it. Meditation as good as it is (20min-1hr per day) makes you So aware of your thoughts and you think your thinking SO much, your not, your just more aware of it now. When you do meditate, let go of the thoughts and put your mind into your breath when they come.

Also start journaling your thoughts daily. Google The Journal7 by DavidRm, you get a free 30 or 40 day trial no credit card needed. there is also another journaling software you can download a free trial but I didnt like it as much.
Click to expand...

This sounds like a good idea! I will definitely try it! Thanks for the advice!

Skillic - Kaiser said: ↑

When you're insulted/criticized or whenever you're experiencing negative emotions, it's like somebody or something (read Life) is bombing you or shooting at you. What do you do when somebody's firing at you ? You look for cover or shelter i.e. a SAFE SPACE. A place where you're shielded from the effects of the firing so that you can think of a strategy to overcome it.

What I meant by safe space in this context is a place/thought/belief in your head that you can go to when you're experiencing these negative emotions. Earlier our safe space was PMO but now, we'll have to build it ourselves. It needn't always be a goal/vision. It could be some achievement that you're proud of that nobody can take away from you. Basically, when you're down (emotionally) you go to this place i.e remember your achievements or remind yourself of this goal so you can still keep going without being affected by those emotions.

For eg. You want to talk to a girl. You think she's pretty but you're afraid you'll say something awkward so you sit and think about how the conversation could go and what you should and shouldn't say. All this is in your head. Meanwhile, nothing is happening in reality. I can think of so may other examples where I do this. But, If I had some confidence, I wouldn't be worried about the outcome because I have a SAFE SPACE in my head. I can go to this place and feel better about myself whenever I want. I don't care if the conversation is awkward because I won't beat myself up for it. Being in my safe space has taught me to like myself and value myself.

Of course, like I said in my previous post, finding such a place is easier said than done. Hope I've answered your question.
Click to expand...

I understand what you mean now. And you are right I should find this safe space as well and use it to my advantage!

Alright I am going to use these tips. Thanks a lot guys!

Deleted Account · Apr 9, 2018

my advice, exercise like a beast, take cold showers, meditate, cut down on sugars and caffeine, get hugs lol,
pick up some new hobbies ( i bought a piano ) and HANG IN THERE ... it will get better--
for me it had to get better because it couldn't get much worse

Datme · Apr 10, 2018

Greggory said: ↑

my advice, exercise like a beast, take cold showers, meditate, cut down on sugars and caffeine, get hugs lol,
pick up some new hobbies ( i bought a piano ) and HANG IN THERE ... it will get better--
for me it had to get better because it couldn't get much worse
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice man! Taking cold showers already and today I trained pretty hard again for the first time since a few months ago. Before I always trained pretty hard but I suddenly lost my habit because college started again and I had some kind of period where I had to get used to it but it's coming back slowly now!

Since 2 days ago I felt much calmer for no apparent reason. The anxious feelings are slowly fading away. I still think a lot but I noticed I get more and more control over my own mind.

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Chronic Overthinking + Social Awkardness

Datme Fapstronaut

Holden Caulfield Fapstronaut

Skillic - Kaiser Fapstronaut

Datme Fapstronaut

Skillic - Kaiser Fapstronaut

Datme Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

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