I came here a few months ago and it really helped me out. I was beginning to make progresses breaking the habit...to the point where I was making it several days and even a week once or twice. But that all went out the window when I started visiting chat-rooms again for cybersex, and now after a couple of months of that I'm feeling pretty drained. I was wondering if anyone has ever been a sex chat-addicted, and if so what kind of emotions you had when you quit. Right now I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt because I'm leaving behind three people I normally chatted with, without explanation. I'm not a dummy, I know they weren't real relationships but in some ways I feel like I somehow owe them an explanation or goodbye, but if I get back onto the site I'll get sucked right back in. It sucks because my brain has made them out to be 'friends' and I've spent almost more time with them the past few months than I have with real people (well they are real, just not for me). I'm also struggling because my urges to get online for that reason keep leading me down a path in which I convince myself that I want chat and porn more than real people. The voice in my head would often consul me and tell me to just go with the flow, and the other voice telling me 'YOU MUST STOP' seemed to disappear for a while. Luckily I met two very pretty girls my age, and although I know I'm no-where near the point where I should ask anyone out it kind of snapped me out of things at least for the moment. It was fun just talking to them, but it was also very depressing when I realized that I can't pursue anything with anybody until I quit pmo. I really hit a point where it feels like I might be able to give this another shot, but I also feel like that would take a lot of energy which I barely have. One benefit is that I'm leaving for two weeks for a class, and won't have internet access nor a lot of privacy. I'm hoping after two weeks I feel a little better and have more willpower to try to start setting benchmarks again. Anyways, I just needed to get back on here and type out some feelins...thanks everyone.
I've observed many people having emotional attachments to porn, whether real people over chat or porn. Our brains form chemical bonds to these things because it is too dumb to know they are fake. It treats them like a wife or girlfriend. Abstinence is the best remedy. Time away to focus on other things. Push through man, it'll get better.
I did something very similar not too long ago. I'm sort of a sex addict and had a lot of fuck buds. Recently I deleted my hook up email that way I can never contact them again and vice versa. Like you I felt bad. These were actual people, a couple I actually got to know. I didn't want to just leave them behind with no explanation. But then I thought about from their perspective (which at one point was mine). We're fuck buds, meaning we fuck on occasion. I had multiple ones which meant they probably have multiple ones as well. In the past when one of them would just disappear, I would simply find a new one which means that they would do the exact same when I disappear. It's not a real relationship, even if it is real people. You're just helping each other get off, no more. It's nice that you met some real girls, and you had fun with that. It shows you what's on the horizon after you've fully rebooted. Good luck to you, man.
I can relate to your story. A few months ago, I fell into the cyber sex trap. Or actually it was a dating site. I was excited because I found lots of girls in my city, so I started messaging them. Soon it turned into an obsession, I was checking the dating site when ever I got the chance. Further still I was excited that I was actually talking to people (even if they were through the computer). But it made me feel REALLY lonely when ever I did it. Like there was no hope for me ever having a proper conversation with a REAL woman. And this compulsive behaviour was causing me to relapse to porn very easily. Like you, I definitely believe that if I don't destroy my porn and masturbation addictions I will never be able to have proper conversations with women, and I will never be able to find a partner. Therefore doing nofap is a do or die situation for me. You can definitely get back to where you were, and improve further on your best streak. Yes, it will take a lot of your energy. No it will not be easy. But you owe it to yourself to get through this! Two weeks of being away will definitely help you come back stronger, as long as you're not masturbating in those 2 weeks. This video helped me at my weakest point so far in my journey- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3MxMfzWfbE "Don't think about the rest of this year, or this month, or even the rest of this week. Just survive today!" (Eric Thomas)
Eyes on the prize, friend! Leaving behind a significant portion of your life, even if it was destructive, is difficult. Ask anyone who has quit drugs, or booze, or smoking. It certainly can seem like an "old friend." I don't know about you, but in my life I've quit associating with two good friends who were bad for me, taking me in directions I didn't want to go. I miss them sometimes, but I know I am far better off. (I'm not in prison.) A healthy relationship with a real, live woman is infinitely better than PMO. If you start backsliding, you might try thinking about the non-sexual parts of a healthy relationship that you enjoy. When you decide to start dating, you may even want to wait a while to have sex to make sure the relationship is healthy first.
