My SO is the same. I don't know if he fears rejection or just an earful! I try my best to talk calmly and be open and positive but I am met with a wall of silence. Even if I do something wrong he can' bring himself to talk to me. I recently enjoyed the attention of another man while we were on holiday. He refuses to talk to me about it. His silence is strangling me . I just have that panicky feeling on my throat all the time. I'm 45 and my hormones are all over the place at the moment which doesn' help. I'm struggling to even raise a smile- forcing a happy face. Why won' he talk to me?
It may work with some SOs but for many more “trickle truth” is a risky move. That describes me personally because it was a continuation of the lying that had gone on for so long. I think the biggest hurdle for recovering addicts, is being able to put the feelings of another before your own. Instead of focusing on what’s better for the addict, the focus must be on what’s important for the ones they love. Where I see addicts failing to regain trust, or save relationships the most it is this one area.
Personally in relationships when I was silent it was because I no longer cared. If I cared I would fight back and yell. But when I did not, I met whatever occurred with silence, I no longer cared.
Exactly. If you hate you still care. That’s why it concerns me when I read addicts saying their partner does not get upset or care what they do as if it’s an indication that they don’t mind the behavior or are okay with it. It usually means they just have stop caring.