New here

Welcome Exploreit101.

I'm in a similar boat (mid 30s, married, kids, using since around 10ish). I'd recommend setting specific goals (in particular for yourself, though benefits for your wife are helpful) and then take steps along those goals.

Just cutting something that has been a major part of your life and activities cold turkey is hard. I needed to find something to fill that time. Fortunately, there are a lot of really good resources out there. Writing a journal to yourself has been helpful to me in identifying thoughts and emotions around PMO that I didn't realize (or didn't want to admit) I had. Running or walking daily while listening to audiobooks or podcasts (currently listening to Pornfree Radio) has been helpful for addressing the negative emotions that led to PMO. Making connections with old friends and being active on here helps deal with the isolation. I've been reading articles that focus on positive aspects of my life rather than trying to find articles to justify my PMO (Art of Manliness has a good series on quitting porn). Finding a good therapist has been very helpful as well where I can talk about my issues revolving around PA and depression and address them as appropriate.

Good luck and stick to it!

 

Hi. Welcome to forum!

Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!