Hey guys I hear sometimes, that people which had even a long run(nofap), for example over 90 days, still relapsing? I thought you would be safer then, I mean it should be easier or not? So why people that was not fapping and watching porn after more as 3 months or maybe even 5 or 7 months still relapsing? Tell me please
At least that’s my own f’ed up belief. It’s either that or just the guilt people give themselves for trying moderation or one off’s after going cold turkey. Im sure if an alcoholic went 90 days without anything then had one beer they’d feel insane guilt for that beer because of the torment mass quantities could have and the build up that’s in their minds. We have to own our actions but also not let them own us. I respect when people on here have relapses and just reset their counter and say “f*ck it. This isn’t getting me”
I thought i could watch in the future on this far way as if it was a part of my life but as a part of the past. So when i look on a pornsite not a porn directly. I hopefully don't get "special feelings". You know a bit like I,m living a different live but i still know the past. Do you know what i mean?
The addiction is indeed lifelong and you'd be wise to take that to heart right away. Know that you will always be subject to temptation and the possibility that you will lose even the longest streak. The more successful you are and the longer your streaks, the more likely you will have been to have rewired your brain to make better decisions, resist urges, look at women in the proper manner, etc. If you were to say that in the throes of your addiction, you are at 0% and when you have a long, clean streak going, you are at 100%, understand that you will likely never fall back to 0%. You simply won't allow yourself to do that. You may fall back to 98% or 93%, but you will have enough "in the bank" in your recovery to bounce back from it relatively quickly. The important thing is simply not to give up when you relapse. It's a rabbit hole. Just because you find your foot in it doesn't mean you should climb all the way in. Maybe more importantly, it's to understand that no matter how good you currently feel, the addiction lies beneath the surface. And not pressing into your recovery tools ALL THE TIME is asking for trouble.
I get this. And I think that if/when you are strong enough, you can see a porn site 'in passing' (like a friend has it up on their screen) and be okay because you will have learned to simply turn away and say "Yeah, sorry. I don't look at porn." But I do NOT think that you'll ever be able to visit a site like that on your own in a healthy way ever. So instead of looking forward to being able to safely visit that sort of site in the future, instead think about yourself as the type of person who never goes to them in the first place. In that way, you can consider porn as a part of your past.
It's not about porn at all. PMO is just my drug of choice. It could as easily be alcohol, marihuana, heroin, cocaine, gambling etc. It's about some underlying, unsolved issue I have, which leads me to seek release of stress by relapse. I've come to conclusion in my nearly 20 years of fighting PMO addiction, that no matter how long I manage to abstain, I fail eventually, because undiscovered roots of tensions in me. I've developed some medical issue after being 6 months in hard mode and having orgasm did "heal" the groin pain, but it also induced numbness, release of tension (by oxytocin), like taking anxiolytic pill. I seek that numbing state, which was gone when being in 'hard mode'. Compulsive mb is just my way of getting it. I was getting it through lots of exercise in period of abstinence, but exercise gave me diminishing "returns" over time, needing more and more of it, to release build tensions in me. When I couldn't do vigorous exercise anymore, downward spiral to PMO and other addictions begun.
