Ego Destruction

Nofap allows you to face the truth of reality and not let your ego blind you with the illusion that you're already great. I think the measure of a man is how much truth he can bear and in order to do this you have to have the strength to open your self to the truth, whether that you're addicted to pornography or simply not hitting your potential.
Realizations over these last few days: I began to have urges, which I have found come most often when I have spare time, so I clicked the panic button. I wasn't panicked so to say but I didn't want to have to focus on the urge and I thought it would be a good way to redirect energy. A ted talk on the benefits of cold showers came up. I didn't let my mind get involved. I took the advice and jumped in with the water on frigid.
1) A cold shower is a positive and proactive way to redirect sexual energy. For months I have just sat there with my ego saying that I am strong enough to ride this urge. That method is insane. What I have found is that this will power is limited but more so that URGES ARE PHYSIOLOGICAL. So, the benefit of a cold shower is that it changes your physical state dramatically. this in turn takes the urge away to where you do not have to rely on willpower alone (which is always limited).
If you want to succeed in recover and developing as an individual with nofap you have to approach it proactively. That means cold showers, meditation, conscious socializing. It forces you to develop your social skills.
Imagine it this way, if you're addicted to sugar and you sit outside of the candy store telling yourself that you will not eat sugar, your willpower will eventually run out and you will give it. But if you proactively remove yourself from the candy store into say the produce part of the grocery, you're willpower will not be as taxed and furthermore will be REFOCUSED on something that doesn't have the potential to destroy you.
This proactive approach and not relying on PMO to feel good or maintain your ego, you begin to see yourself in truth, in other words, more clearly as you really are. This is difficult to most because you begin to see how much work you need. But once you accept your self as you are suddenly you have the ability to see what needs to be fixed. If you keep delving into PMO (even if you are resisting it your still feeding it energy) your blinded by the illusion you ego feeds you to keep itself alive.
Practical example: I had an urge and took a cold shower which in turn made me more present and allowed me to recognize that my hair needed to be cut and that I needed to refocus on my fitness because it had started to slip. Notice how instead of covering up what I needed to address in myself with PMO, I had the courage to face it, recognize it, and fix it. I have been working out and maintaining nutrition for a few weeks now. I also bought a new conditioner. In turn, I didn't do a lot, just a little. But its those few degrees that made me stand out slightly from the crowd. People are complementing me on my hair and my physique and telling me I look like a man. You never know how far the ripples of your actions go. It's the small decisions that make a big difference. Now imagine many of these decisions made over time and you might be unrecognizable. And thats what happened to me. Here's a story...

I went to an old friend from school's wedding the other day. I saw many people that I hadn't seen in years, the friends family, attractive girls that I once thought were out of my league in Highschool, friends parents etc. Now I have been proactively working on myself in these subtle ways a I mentioned above. I had arrived early to the wedding leaving me time to mingle and whats crazy is that my friends sister literally starred at me for the longest time with her jaw dropped. She did not recognize me at first. Maybe it was my hardened physique, or my calm ground energy that I didn't have before. Because I was present and having another conversation I was slightly ease dropping on her reaction to my presences and heard her say something like, "who is that, I'm looking at a man, he looks completely different." As a kid I would give in to urges and be driven by what I wanted in the moment. Now I've spend years focusing on my character and what I want the most. In turn that changes your physiology and physical appearance. You look different because you are different. So back to the story, I thought this was just her one opinion until her mom saw me and acted the same way, she did not recognize me until her sister told her who I was. it wasn't just a fluke I was a different person and she starred at me in awe almost to the point where it was uncomfortable. And it continued...the energy I had was different, my physical appearance was strong and masculine, my energy confidently resting on my character and personality that I had worked on. Her father, who used to have a mild distain towards me in the past, treated me with respect, was drawn towards me and wanted to have conversation with me. His eyes lit up when he talked to me. He was like a different person because he was talking to a different person. And these realizations continued, one of the girls at the wedding was very popular in Highschool and I was always a bit awkward; our friend groups separated and our friendship diminished in high school. Funny enough, she was there with her boyfriend who is very negative and ego based. I confidently went up and talked to her and started a conversation. I noticed that semen retention and not having a mind riddled with dopamine makes you a more powerful and magnetic individual. She literally wanted to talk to me all night and kept hanging around me and told me to come visit her in California where she is now working. It's crazy. If you haven't figured it out from all these examples already, what I learned is that every where you go you carry with you an energy. Having self discipline to be good, and do the right thing gives you the freedom to act confidently and be who you want to be. Delving back into bad habits and trading self discipline for immediate gratification leaves you full of anxiety that leaves you feeling helpless and paralyzed in social situations. You can always recognize the guy that faps or does PMO. He's the awkward, try hard, nice guy, in the room that has pale clammy skin, that will mimic what a self disciplined man should be and every person in the room intuitively feels right through it and stays away from his dirty energy. This is just the social dynamics of the energy you allow into your self and I think is the fundamental explanation so to say for what many people in this community call 'superpowers.'

Another small event. There is a restaurant I frequent and one of the attractive bar tenders used to treat me with distain when I wasn't fully committed to nofap. But after long streaks and having a clearer mind she would look at me in the eye with intent and interest. When I would hand her my credit card she would make a point to touch my hand. It's almost as if she physically wanted to feel my energy. No wonder guys who commit to nofap find it easier to have fulfilling sex. It's because they're abundant in energy and aren't wasting it resisting urges or delving into PMO. They are proactively transmuting their energy into bringing value to themselves and in turn bringing value to the world around them.
Thats all for now

Achilles

 

That mindset comes from scarcity or a low vibration of its me against the world. Success is comes much quicker without it.

 

I think you misunderstood me. It's not from becoming nobody or nothing. It's actually the opposite. It's an expansion, not a contraction. When you set your ego aside, you naturally expand your thinking and thus your actions. This is where you develop character. You only have a real need for character when you begin to see things in this light, that you exist in relation to others, that you act in relation to everyone and everything around you. You can only empathize with other people outside of the ego. The ego says, "I'm already great; why would I need 'character' or 'empathy.' In short, you obtain success by bringing value to other people so when you learn to look past your own ego or simply your own selfish thoughts even for a few minutes and focus on other people your vibration goes up or in other words you bring value. Nofap is a way to develop character and if you have the discipline to develop yourself with nofap and other good habits you will inherently bring value to others just by being present. The man that drives a Porsche found a way to bring value to many people and probably has less of an ego contrary to the believe of the masses. There is a large difference between Ego and Character and I think in this conversation you and I are misusing them slightly. Eckart is a massive character without Ego. It's the only way to expand into such an influential character. I also don't think a confident character should be mistaken for Ego. I think the insecure person interprets it this way often, like in the Porsche example. Their reaction is a subjective reflection of them trying to understand their own fear and feelings of inadequacy. In reaction you can only be a victim. To act genuinely, takes self reflection and development of character.

 

I am not suggesting stoicism; I did not mention it in my post. Could you explain how you understand the passage of Nietzsche's you pasted? I agree with part of what you say about Altruism. I don't think altruism is the aim nor stoicism. I see meditation as a time to let go, to create space for self-reflection so that you can take more focused action on the outer world and strengthen the character of your inner-word. It's largely based as a way to develop and essentially become a stronger action taker and become someone of character who's personality and existence have a good impact on their environment and society. This is not stoic. Is love, empathy, and morality, simply not just the ability to see someone else as yourself and recognize that you share something together simply for existing together. Are we not related in the very sense that I can affect you with my words and actions. If I couldn't then we would be completely independent of one another and have no concept or need for empathy, love, or morality at all; meditation doesn't connect you to anything, so to say (using your language) it just allows you to slow down, reflect and recognize what has been there the whole time.

 

Existentially we are affected by each other simply because we both exists. Therefore, each action we take is either done in reaction to something done to us or from our environment or we take action in our own direction after experiencing the world. The person who uses nofap or other acts of self discipline have the frame of mind to build themselves to become strong characters, people who are not in a reactive state all the time but experience the world, all its joys and pains, and act on it from the fundamentals of their character. In this way life happens for them. The reactive type is lost and feels that they are at the mercy of the world and this makes complete sense to justify from their perspective because the have little foundation of character, their character lacks density and is easily moved by every inconsequential thing. They have no ground of character so to say to mount any worthy action upon. These people often seek temporary gratification, quite dopamine hits, etc just like PMO. The person who understands that to exists is to live and you either react to whats done to you and seek quick gratification when you can or you recognize that because you exist you have a responsibility to act (which is inherently in relation to others around you ) from character that you have build and then aim all your energy towards your purpose. You can only find the latter the more Noble approach by resting, reflecting, or meditating. In fact this is the most natural state. But peoples purpose becomes lost very easily because they are born into a world with little defense; it requires a strong spirit to maintain it against the resentful people who have lost theirs and hence want to take it from others. Notice that you have within you a great amount of energy and you have to wake up each morning and figure out something to do with it.
Being cynical might feel good at first but it gets you nowhere
Denying your energy and the fact that you bring value to this world just by existing causes you to act in perverted ways in order to satisfy your hunger to fulfill your purpose and grow.
So the person who develops their character can find a purpose that will set them free, lift them up, and allow them to feel fulfilled. Maybe a professional athlete or business man.
Here is a distinction: The drug addict is obsessed with getting drugs and getting high; his addiction kills him.
The business man is obsessed with getting his next deal because he has a purpose that he created somewhere along the lines of helping people and building something great.Therefore, his obsession allows him to grow and flourish. And many people say that these types of people neglect their family and other things that are important for their work and that they are heartless etc... But it is possible to have both, if not all. The Idea of thinking in scarcity separates you from others and possibility. it also creates the attitude that you have to be tough to survive in this world and that whatever someone else gets automatically comes out of 'yours' so to say. if you think abundantly you realize you can have whatever you ask for.
This is not the most clearly organized response but there is also a distinction I would like to try and be more concise about.
Noble morality acts upon the world. The world works along with them.
Slave morality reacts to what is done to them by the world. The world is against them.
Its the difference between being someone who acts and reflects, and acts better and better, until they have a beautiful life or being the victim who always reacts to what is done to them and because of this their ability to take action dissolves because their character dissolves so the only identity they find solace in is that of the 'Victim.' This separates them from the greater energy in the world that allows you to grow and flourish. Notice how the victim has to other victim friends to commiserate with to perpetuate their self-image and false sense of entitlement. They live in their ego where they are the star of their own performance, they're the only one on the stage, and there is no one in the audience...