This is getting old

Did you change anything after a relapse? Try a different method? Try a new routine? Change your plan? You can't do the same again and expect your streak to increase magically.

 

Papa: I appreciate hearing your story. It helps all of us here on Nofap to understand this addiction affects everyone differently, but in many ways the same. Some things to note:

• Life can look really good on the outside. It did for me; good wife and family, excellent job, well respected in the community. But inside and in private, I was (am) addicted to porn. I justified it to myself by only acting on once a week (I scheduled it, dude!), but it was still a problem. I felt shame, guilt, dirty, out of control. I realized the basis of my acting out had nothing to do with the life I had, but the life I lived in the past. My wires were all messed up because of things that I grew up with - unmet needs as a child, losing a parent to death, an absent father, all results in a misconception of intimacy and love. Took me a LONG time to figure these things out, but now... working nofap is relatively straightforward. Upshot... you have to work on yourself before rebooting can really work.
• IMHO a religion is different from being spiritual. So, I recommend you work on developing yourself spiritually first, otherwise there is a potential for the religion to become, albeit, a healthy addiction. Read up on meditation, learn to like and ultimately love yourself (remember the saying, "love your neighbors as yourself"), work on "letting go" of shit (anger, grasping, obsessive thoughts) you carry around. These practices have a basis in almost every religion you'll encounter, but you won't be religious unless you are first spiritual.
• Consider this possibility... you may have a very high libido, which can be a natural thing. It's satisfying that libido with fapping and porn that isn't healthy. You have a supporting partner, allow her in to help you understand intimacy and love and caring. If you're like a lot of guys here, being vulnerable and open doesn't come easy. My bet is working on your relationship will improve the sexual connection you already have with her, lessen the libido, and make rebooting seem more possible.

Hope these thoughts help. A couple of final things about rebooting: 1) you're in this alone, bud; you need to make the commitment, and 2) you don't have to go it alone; this site and others like it are incredible support resources. I mean, where else would a total stranger rant on about personal growth?

Peace, bro... all of us here understand and appreciate the struggle and challenge you face.

 

This is a journey not perfection its ok at times to feel pissed about it I know I do some days, if it was easy then there would be no relapse sections.
Go out do stuff you enjoy sitting around lead me to a lot of blue moods in the past I now stay active and it helps a lot.