I've heard the benefits of NoFap which is why I am trying it and I know this forum is for promoting it but lately I am beginning to wonder if maybe it's something that's not working for me. The self control part I have down easy. The problem I am seeing is in other aspects of my life which I think this may be affecting. Ever since I started 7 days ago my emotions have me stuck in my head and also acting differently towards people (more angry, depressed, and lonely). Being in my young 30's as a man, it seems all my friends around my age and the ones I have grown up with, no longer hang out. They have families and jobs and other things to do in life which I completely understand. So my current friends are generally mid 20's and in the same career field as me and single. But ever since I started, it feels like they are pulling away and distancing themselves. I know the signs pretty good, because I have a habit of doing it to others in the past, when I just didn't see a good connection with the person anymore. I'm starting grad school in about a month and a half and I'm curious if maybe I should stop now and just return back to the previous version of myself, if that's possible, because I know it's a healthier version of myself in comparison, or at least a better functioning version. Or if I should stick it out and hope it gets better. Would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this.
I am into Nofap already a year + and I intend not to relapse anymore ofc. However, when I relapsed, in the beginning i wad like.. im such a loser, i cant do this etc But later i had more of a learning mindset from relapses, to see how it affected me, how it happened.. So its ofc your decision, but i would just advise to have an aware and learning mindset with whatever decisions you make. See what things affect you, getting in touch more with the feelings, inner experiences.. All the best
I made this decision because I am trying to transform myself into the best person that I can be. So this issue with me, I guess, is wondering if the overall cost will be positive in the end. I've noticed that some people come to the decision to do no PMO out of shame, so I guess I should be upfront that PMO has never been a shameful thing to me, and that my interest in doing this is not based on morality or shame.
If pmo doesn't bother you & you see no harm my opinion won't matter any sane man would go back to it. However if this is an eloborate scheme you've thought of to no longer improve then all you just said is BS. To nofap, or to not not. It's your choice man. I'd personally not.
My perspective here is that you believed in NoFap more than you have ever believed in yourself. I'm sorry if this is a little harsh but I think you actually don't believe you can change. The harder it gets and the more resistance you feel means you're actually out of your comfort zone and you'll be able to succeed if you continue even if it hurts. Two major issues I got from this post are: 1. You're not trusting the process and 2. You're thinking in scarcity. The first problem means you thought NoFap would get you the results just by doing it and it wouldn't matter the person you are, because in your reality it just works for everyone if they do it. Now that belief is gone and you feel hopeless, but if you actually see yourself succeeding (without caring when) and start acting out of love and not out of hate you'll see the change. The second issue (scarcity) means you're hanging on too much on what you have. You say "all my 30 years old friends are gone" as in "I can get no more friends my age" and "there's no value in people who aren't my age". You're thinking "my 20 years old friends don't like me anymore" as in "if they don't like me, no one else will". Life is ABUNDANT, always remember that you can lose what you have in a matter of seconds, but you can always get more. Check out this post I wrote today, I think it'll help you lots https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...change-your-life-forever.182296/#post-1553349
First, Thank you for your opinions, I really do appreciate them and and feedback is good, candor is welcome. From a moral standpoint it doesn't bother me, if not doing it helps my mental/physical health than that's the part I am interested in. As for improving myself, this is just one of the steps I have made so far. I stopped smoking and went to vaping around 2 years ago, then stopped vaping around 6 months ago as well as fast food (other than the occasional fries, because those are damn good). I stopped (other than the occasional) soda around 3 months ago, which I used to drink a crap ton of. This is my next goal. I also took my first cold shower today and wow, that was shocking but I think I will keep doing that as well. Come September I want to start weight lifting and possible pick intermittent fasting back up. I'm going to continue my No PMO, but am more curious as to where would the line be for you guys. That line of this is doing more harm than good?
You may be onto something here. I'll have to try and self reflect and separate my own biases. I generally am skeptical about things and find it hard to trust people. As for scarcity I've been known to be cheap lol. I don't know if I could get more friends that age, I am rarely around people that age right now and soon going to grad school so I probably will still be around mid 20's. I don't have a problem with people in their mid 20's though, it's just these particular friends which are my main friends and the people who I work and spend most of my time with. In the end I'm going to school in 2 months and making new friends I'm sure though, I just don't want the issues I'm going through right now to affect my ability to attract new people and hope that whatever emotions I'm going through right now, don't increase or stay the same. I guess I'm hoping to hear it gets better but I might need to deal with the fact that it might now. gonna check out that post you linked now though
