Irritable without release

Irritability, anger, depression, anti sociability, laziness, seemingly decreased mental clarity, etc

If these arise from celibacy practice it is because you are surpressing.

In fact your constitution is stronger. You have more energy stores inside you. Your perception is better and senses are stronger.

Try some form of concentration practice to improve your concentration.

Make sure you exercise plenty as well.

 

It's not just the lack of sexual release, I think, it is also the stress of having the new baby. Be strong, ride it out. Recognising that you are being grumpy is half the battle. The other half is what you do with that: distrct yourself, or recognise the emotion and let go of it, or renew your pride in staying porn free, or talk to a friend about it, or post a journal entry here and have a good rant, or go for a walk with the other kids, or ... (you get the idea)

 

So i wanted to chime in because i gave birth 7 months ago. On what to expect on the forums sooo many wives asked the question "do you hate your husband now?" as in ppst pregnancy lots of wives experienced their husbands being an irritant and i think its due to hormonal shifts.

For me i didnt experience my husband as an annoyance but was rather grateful for his help. Sexually my husband never pressured me which was the best. I often pressured myself which ended up horribly. At month 4 postpartum we finally had sex (i had a 2nd degree tear that was realllyyy bad). since weve started having sex again I personally feel like its not as much as we used to have and i asked other moms on the forum and when i said that in about a month and a half we had sex aporx 14 times all the other moms were shocked because they'd had sex only 3 to 5 times (and they said their husbands weren't as interested i believe).

Q 1: How many weeks postpartum is she? If it's in the first 3 months she is probably alll over the place hormonally.

I am 7 months post and i feel like my hormones are finally restabalizing.

Q 2: What makes it feel like your wife is a roommate?

For my husband and i postpartum i actually felt that way about him. It wasnt necessarily the lack of sex that made me feel that way, it was the fact that the emotional intimacy and connection was non-existent. Increasing emotional intomacy can really help while sex is off the table, giving her sensual massages can be nice, cuddling, etc.

I didn't end up breastfeeding but i know postpsrtum sex drives shift for a while. Not sure if you know this but womens sex drive tanks right after pregnancy as a way to prrvent the woman from getting pregnant too soon after because post pregnancy for the first yr after she is HIGHLY fertile as in if you mess up timing she probably will get pregnant... so as someone who has alwsys had a higg sex drive (i.e. daily every other day) i am 7 months post and my high sex drive hasnt fully returned (im more at every 3 to 4 days now).

So do be aware that hormonal shifts pretty much take over a woman for the first yr postpartum... be gentl, kind, understsnding. Maybe she is frustrated with all of it too, does shw even know all the hormonal stuff at play? if not maybe you two could talk about it, create that emotional intimacy and connection...

 

Theres a youtube channel dynamic-mental fitness. Try those meditations, it will take your mind to a higher note .

 

I totally get your point of view. I often feel I need that touch, feeling, playfulness to fill in for intimacy. I have been with my wife a long time and married 12 yrs with two kids. Something I have learned is instead of the playful touching and groping, sometimes a woman might simply want a kiss on the cheek, to hold her hand. A rub on the shoulder. Sit by her and give her your time and energy. A shoulder to cry on if needed, an ear to listen, a need to feel like you are in this with them. Especially post baby, she needs time to adjust and may secretly being raging inside just like you while trying to keep it all together on the outside. Remind her how wonderful she is, how special she is to you, how beautiful she is...and not in a sexy way. Rub her feet, let her fall alseep in your lap. Hug her tighter and more often. There are a lot of ways to connect and be intimate without sexual touch.

Sometimes as men we forget that to our SO we are their EVERYTHING, on the other hand we are men and sometimes our EVERYTHING is sex.

I'm not preaching to you brother, just sharring what I have learned in my relationship and marriage. We have had our fair share of struggles to connect and be on the same page a time or two, especially our first year of marriage, we almost didn't make it.