Women objectification and emotional unavailability?

I think it's a very interesting topic, yet more complicated than that. The issue can't be understood without a mix of scientific knowledge, a social perspective, emotional insight and (IMO) the level of intelligent consciousness the people involved have.

When I say people I mean the women subject of "objectification" and the man/woman who perceives those women.

There's an important part of perceived beauty that's subjective, then there's another part that's cultural, and there's another part that's ingrained in the most irrational part of our psyche as a result of thousands of years of evolution.

One can't simply get rid of those things. Some of those beauty standards can be removed by inner exploration, the others (i.e. more ingrained ones) need much more conscious work.

But should we? Should we all? Is that a moral need? Is it ethic?

I think people nowadays are too gullible to the feminist/objectification/anti-biology crap. Not saying you are, of course. I'm just talking about a lot of trends I see online.

I have nothing against feminisim as a concept. I just have a lot against people not using their f*ing brains and taking anything they see in a crappy youtube video.

Lol sorry for the rant lol.

Now if you want a good punchline for this short dissertation I'll leave one I could use in a sensationalist youtube video:

Women complaining about men liking their ass and tits, is like men complaining about women liking us to be confident.

 

Interesting points made. From my perspective, it's difficult to tell sometimes, if I admire someone, is it because of their looks or something more, like their emotions, mannerisms, personality, intellect, common interests? Or perhaps all those things.

Are my desires for their looks based on something deeply ingrained within me or has it been somehow warped, not just by P, but by mainstream media and culture? I'm sure it has been some influence. Sometimes, I'm not even sure if I know what is a "normalised" or "natural" perception/attraction any more. Obviously, things like countless sexual encounters with women of certain body types would clearly be something unrealistic, so I can still distinguish the difference between fantasy and real attraction.

Though, I like to think that I can be attracted to someone that isn't based on some impossible image. Whether I can be with that person is another question.

I have spoken to some straight women and read a few accounts. They mentioned that looks in a man are important, in addition to other traits too. So, in a way, it goes both ways. Like what TotalLifeChange said, one of the major attraction for women in men is the illusive idea (for me) of confidence.

One woman has said she needed to be with someone who is better than her intellectually. Another has said she needed someone that can make her come out of her shell. And another who wants a man that is like their rock, stable, powerful and ambitious, yet emotionally open. I do wonder sometimes, if those traits are lacking, would that make the man any lesser? On the other hand, do we not try to seek out the "best" in our mates? Or should we try to have a more open minded views and goals - where we accept someone (not simply tolerate) for the people they are, flaws and all? Of course there are things that can be worked on.

Sme of these qualities can be worth pursuing for a person in general (the motive however, may be questionable). At the same time, the women I've mentioned are not truly representative of the population, so take it with a grain of salt.

In terms of the discussion about feminism and equality, I do like to believe it is an essential part of society in general. How it is practised, pursued and expressed is something that can be open to interpretation. Idealistically speaking, I think it's something that needs to be worked together by both genders in a co-existing manner. Right now, I feel that there's this push for a "dog eat dog" type of existence and that has a negative impact overall. But, what do I really know? I'm living with my own contradictions and still trying to climb out of the pit I've dug - hah.

 

Everyone has some qualifications for a partner at least unconsciously. But I would say that if you're solely focused on looks, you're probably not going to have a good relationship. And if you're only willing to be with someone who looks like a pornstar or model, you might be excluding a whole lot of amazing and attractive women. I think it has to do with balance.

The women I've dated and have had relationships with are all very different in how they look. I don't have a type. But they've all been sexy and attractive to me. But if it was only about looks, it would be a very short lived relationship. To have something more than a superficial relationship, you need more than just looks. And that might be different for different people. I like someone who has a good sense of humor, someone who's intelligent, someone who is cool and grounded and not obsessed with material things, etc.

It's different for everyone. It also depends on if you just want to get laid or if you want something more. And keep in mind that if you're in a relationship with someone, sex is a small amount of time you're together. The other time you'll be talking, hanging out, doing things... and that's where it obviously becomes important that you like spending time with this person.

 

Another thing, I've never pursued someone based on some mental idea of what I want. It also comes from an instinctive attraction, but for me at least it's never been looks alone. It's an attraction and a connection. And when you feel a mutual connection (you sense she's also into you), it makes pursuing someone actually very easy and fun. But you can't force that connection, you have to just notice it when it happens.