well i am a 18 year old Muslim male i started Masturbation when i was 14 no porn back then i Failed in school tow years and then i started porn addiction in like 15 of course its forbidden in our religion to do both (Masturbation\watching porn) well its been 1 year struggling with porn addiction and 2 years from Depression i have been alone the whole time and no one know about my porn addiction i cant tell anybody because no one even know there is a (porn addiction) in my country its iraq by the way anyway . i have no friends no Hobbies no girlfriend . and this Month or the back 3 Month i have been relapsing too much like every tow days i know why its because i dont do anything and idont have willpower just when i need to watch i watch i dont keep myself from watching anymore. i dont go out alot (you can say i dont) just when i need to buy something . i tried everything like EVERYTHING i just cant quit i even tried fasting and dosent work and (it Actually work 40 day without even thinking of watching i think i could do that number because was going to school and fasting at the same time so i cant have anytime to think ) those couple past days i cant sleep right or have desire to eat even to live and i just relapsed 4 hours ago and cant sleep its been a day since last sleep this is destroy me and my religion i cant quit and i cant keep doing it . everything boring and meaningless i read alot about porn and what it can do i dont think i will ever quit even if i do 1 year i will still watch porn i know myself i dont know how normal ppl Feel anymore if i was a non-religion man i would kill myslef so much long i have been alone for too long and its my chose i dont believe there is a real friend everyone want something and no one is like me few real Muslim in my age or i just couldnt find one i dont seem to enjoy anything i play video games and watch movies and tv shows i used to it least just video games lately . please dont tell me to find a job or friends because i cant do that any tip? thanks for reading by the way oh by the way i have a question it Contain alot of(Words)so I warned you (lately i was seeing too much bj videos i even chose the video that have big d i dont know i used to skip the bj but know all i want to see is big d being sucked is this ok ? can i be gay just by watching porn ? i still into girls just not what i used to be before .
I would suggest you to try liftying weights, it will giving you more confidence. Also try not to be all the time in your house
Try to keep you mind on studies, even if not in school, learn a new language, a new skill. Keep your mind and hands busy and stay around other people where you are not alone. What you are feeling is probably caused by the porn and always seeking more than "normal" you mind will try to find something more extreme or different from what you usually look at. Feel free to ask as many questions as you like and read here, there are a lot of people with a lot of knowledge.
