Ready to overcome Porn Addiction/PIED

Hey guys, I'm writing to document my progress as I start the process(again) to quit porn altogether and live a healthier lifestyle. For some background, I was very typical in my masturbation habits(once a day) growing up and in my early 20's and had a very high sex drive. I used to basically get hard just be a single sexual thought and be able to repeat sex after about 10-15 minutes. In the past 3 years(I'm 30 now), my sex drive has been reduced to almost nothing due to, I believe, a porn addiction. I'm not sure exactly how this happened, but I honestly think most of it grew through boredom(was living in a small town). I became addicted to webcams, I think this is how the most damage was done. I'm not sure if it is physical or psychological or both. But over time, my erections became getting weaker and weaker. I began not being able to perform sexually on occasion and it's noticeably not as hard when I can perform. It's almost a vicious cycle because the weaker they get, the more you want to try to get an erection to make sure it still works. Now I never get complete morning wood and I have serious performance anxiety to the point where I hesitate to try to get laid sometimes because I'm afraid I won't perform.

For the past year or so, I have made a few weak attempts to quit. I went to the doctor and he gave me cialis which didn't change anything. I'm ready to change for good and get my drive back so I can have a normal sexual lifestyle again.

I'm currently on day 4 and counting(still very early). Any advice/suggestions would help, I will post as I go along. Has anyone had PIED like this and regained their drive?

 

Day 5: hardest part right now is not being able to sleep at night...also if I go out this weekend, do I try to get laid? Or better to not have sex at all?

 

Day 6: woke up with some morning wood today actually, not going to read into it too much but I'll take it as a small victory haha...from what I found the 10-15 day is tough for me, but so far so good

 

Day 7: Went out last night and got two numbers, at the end of the night got propositioned by a hooker, she said 200 for the night...I'll admit it wasn't that hard to turn down bc I didn't wanna throw away two bills but for 100 I don't think I would be able to resist...really glad I did though, it was a good night, I do feel that without fapping, I have a little more self-confidence at the bar, feel more centered...when I got back though I was definitely a little revved up and struggled to go to sleep but managed, one thing I would like to do is stop myself from looking at girls pictures on Facebook/tinder, feel like it might trigger me

 

Day 8: Well, went out last night to a club, got one girl's number and ended up bringing another girl back and having sex. I performed ok, but still not as hard as what i think is normal. Had to really slow things down though bc i felt like i was going to bust as soon as i put it in after not fapping for a week. Really want to get back to the point where I am enjoying sex rather than having anxiety that i won't be able to get it up.

Anyway, hopefully O's through sex don't set me back. At this point, nothing really feels different but having been at this point before I think it's important to remember that this is a long journey. Everytime I have stopped after about 15 days, looking back I wish I would've kept going and seen what kind of results I would've had.

 

Day 9: Feeling really good about my control to stay away from porn, having wasted so much time and doing damage to myself in the past with it. My biggest fear right now is that the damage I have done is physical to my penis and not just psychological or in my brain. I am confident that this process will reset my dopamine levels and re-boot my brain but what if i have done permanent damage to nerve endings down there? Does anyone know what is the likelihood of doing permanent physical damage through over-masturbation? Is it something that happens a lot?

 

Day 11: Ok, makes me feel better that it sounds like physical damage is not likely. Definitely going strong without temptation for porn right now. Still waiting for more signs that I'm getting back to normal down there. Just feels like permanent flatline, can't wait to feel full and healthy and maybe some morning wood would be a great sign. I do feel "centered" and more confident around women even this early, if I feel like my ED gets cured, I will feel unstoppable haha. If anyone has advice or is going through similar stories, feel free to post, hearing others in the same boat is really helping me

 

Day 12: technically its day 12 it's actually like 2:30 am haha, got a little drunk, now can't sleep, but can't say how much being able to share helps with the urges...penis feels cold and lifeless, sometimes just want to mess with it to see if it still works but this time I am trusting in the process, have to know that this is part of the flatline phase, soon enough I will be back to normal and I can't wait

 

Day 13: Ex-girlfriend sending bikini pics not helping my cause haha...but I am still going strong, its been about a week since I had sex and I am definitely feeling the urge to release some tension...i really am only feeling the need to O, porn seems to be fairly easy to avoid but it is just the feeling like i need a release which is present...will probably go out for a bit tonight

 

Day 14: stayed in last night, feels good to save some money and wake up early and not hungover on a Sunday...saw on ybop that it's better not to spend too much time on Facebook or dating sites so I'm going to really reduce the time I look at instagram, tinder, or fbook. Maybe that will speed the process.

 

Good point IGY...by the way, I think I may be starting to feel just a little more life down there, just a little bit fuller(this could be in my head)...not a whole lot in the way of morning wood yet but wanted to see if anyone else felt changes within the first two weeks? I'm expecting to be in some sort of flatline for at least another few weeks but would be great to see changes before that

 

Day 15: Another good day of noFap, and I received some news which brought on great relief. For the past year I feel I have had, to a certain degree, mild depression. I believed this stemmed from one or both of two things: my PIED and also the following predicament which I will explain. So about a year ago, I had basically a one night stand with a girl(who evidently had a boyfriend at the time). At that time, since I was struggling with PIED, I really had a hard time convincing myself to use a condom. Long story short, she got pregnant. For the past year, I have been under the pretense that it was my child, I was like 90% sure. I did a paternity test a few weeks ago and luckily just found out that the child is not mine.

I share this because it really feels like a huge weight has been lifted off me. Now if I can knock out the PIED, I will feel really amazing. Also, I share it to show that no matter what, guys please practice safe sex! It is not worth it! I feel like I dodged a bullet, but please do not do what I did.

 

Day 17: Been having some trouble falling asleep at night, usually it keeps me up until around 2am, but still going strong. Still waiting for morning wood. Sometimes it feels like i've got some type of blue balls, like it just kinda aches a little bit, but then it'll go away if i take my mind of it with something else...been having some urges to M or go to the Asian Massage Parlor, not going to let myself do it though, i feel like going to an AMP is basically the same thing as M, plus I would feel even worse dropping money to do it...i feel like the next time i have sex though, i'll probably last like 30 seconds because i'm so wound up

 

Day 19: no urges yesterday, overall feeling pretty good, but still waiting for that surge of libido to really get out of flatline...i don't know if ofhers experienced this but I feel like my penis kinda would feel shriveled up a little bit(before nofap and during early flatline). Now it feels a little more relaxed but hopefully the libido will really kick up soon