Dating stash...

Me doing approaches is the equivalent of Goku, fighting Jiren in base form It feels like approaches are my worst enemy its like all my fears rolled into one. This super powerful enemy. Brolly! Jokes aside it is like public speaking, presentations, and a job interview all at the same time. Public speaking, needs no introduction how many people really excel at this? Presentations its the same as approaches feels like you are trying to sell yourself in some way. Thats literally one of the main reasons why people do it in the first place. Somebody is getting qualified. Job interviews, well i'm struggling for work so... Confidence not at all high...

I believe in balance i would struggle to go 100% approaches. Putting it into perspective i have done both over the years, approaches and online dating. Approaches have got me into conversations, there has been some good banter. But thats the extent it. No phone numbers, no dates, no sex, nothing... This is partly because of the anxiety of course and other reasons... Compare that to online dating. Its like being on a different planet. 150+ phone numbers, dates, sex, conversations. A seriously high dopamine rush similar to that of PMO but not in a bad way. Because you ARE meeting people. I'm a big advocate of dating apps for a few reasons. Firstly there are no approaches whatsoever. The number one reason why people don't meet is because of this. Approach anxiety. That is part of the reason for my high success rate. And secondly its so easy to find and meet people. This is one of the biggest frustrations i have with doing approaches. Many times over the years i have met girls in real life. There are times when you feel like you had a good connection and you would like to meet them again. Or maybe you saw someone you liked and you really wanted to meet them.

If you met on an app its so easy. Their profile is so easy to find you will never lose them unless they delete their account or block you. But in real life people can just disappear and you never see them again. Like that time when i saw this girl in a museum that i wanted to talk to. She just disappeared i could not find her. Or that time when i was talking to a sales girl in a retail store. She said i should come back and tell her how the aftershave i bought was working for my dating life. Never saw her again. Or that time i met a girl on a internship. One day she just stopped coming and i never saw her again. I could go on and on but you get it. That is why dating apps have become so popular. You are never going to lose that person that you want to talk to. Remember back in the day when you would see someone you liked. And then you would repeat the same commute patterns in the hope that you find them again. Or ask people on facebook if they have seen them etc... Good times...

So to just give up on all of that and just do approaches would feel like dating suicide to me. It was hard enough doing it when i had confidence. Remember i'm at the lowest i have ever been in my life at the moment...

I really want to let go of the past... I have been trying all year to do just that. Getting a job was supposed to be the path to opening all of these doors. Paying off debts, travelling, getting my own place, getting in shape, social and dating life etc... Unfortunately it has not worked out that way yet.. And its taken its toll on my health too...

I think i am more likely to delete the stash when i start dating again... Because unfortunately i'm not ready to let go of the past yet... I don't have a future at the moment. Still stuck at home, no job, etc.... The "stash" is just a reminder of what i'm capable of doing. All of those girls... It's the motivation i will use when i return to the dating. I need all the confidence i can get at this point...

 

Well..... actually you got me thinking, and i remembered the original reason why i kept it the first place... So i could avoid messaging past girls and exes. It has happened before, with a crazy lying girl i talked to ages ago. It did not work out. And then a few months later we matched on Tinder and started talking again. And then she was like haven't we met before... And then i remembered and it was just awkward. And i also had a girl that was stalking me on different dating apps. I only remembered who she was when i looked at the photos and chats we had last time. Dodged a bullet hate time wasters.

I will get rid of it eventually im sure. It's not like im using it for relapses or anything. In fact its password protected so im less likely to even look at it unless i really wanted to. Which i have no desire to do at the moment as im rebooting and planning to return to the dating game soon.

 

I decided to do some spring cleaning today. The stash is gone, even the backups. I have no need for it now. I want to wipe the slate clean, and do the dating over again, with no baggage holding me back.

 

Good to read.

 

I was holding onto dead memories anyway. A few of those girls are in relationships now. Some have even started families of their own. So it was just pointless, and a waste of time holding onto those memories...

 

Exactly and now you are rid of it and it can't grab your attention anymore.