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Feel so ashamed

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Harry45578, Dec 21, 2014.

  1. Dec 21, 2014 #1
    Harry45578

    Harry45578 Fapstronaut

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    After going 15 days and convincing myself that I would go 90 days and quit PMO for good, I have once again relapsed(previous best 60 ish days). I don't just feel frustration at this, but also at the fact that it was to porn that was kind of extreme; I have found myself doing this the first couple of times I PMO after a period of abstinence. I feel so ashamed in using this extreme porn - it just isn't me. I'm a really decent and genuine guy who has been struggling with anxiety, social anxiety and certain periods of depression for a while now. I guess I'll just have to try harder to feel 'normal' once again.

    All I want is a happy, enjoyable and porn free life where I can actually form REAL relationships with both guys and girls, is that too much to ask? I ain't a social outcast - I play sports, I have SOME friends however, despite having good times and bad times (mostly bad, especially when pmoing), I feel that I am losing the will to live(literally). I'm sure its to do with the various bio-chemical inconsistencies which porn addiction causes so I hope that, this time, I will finally be able to pluck up enough willpower to quit porn and masturbation for good.

    I've been trying for a year now, I guess I'll just have to try a bit harder...
     
    Harry45578, Dec 21, 2014
    Harry45578, Dec 21, 2014
    #1
  2. Dec 27, 2014 #2
    enoughnow

    enoughnow Fapstronaut

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    Harry45578, I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I have had struggles with social anxiety and, to a greater extent, general anxiety. Your streak of 60 days is almost twice as long as my best.

    I think it might be useful to examine the main reasons and factors that motivate you to look at porn, rather than just look at it as something that is a problem in and of itself. In my case, the reasons are (i) because I did not have enough of a social life or after-work interests (ii) I have never had a girlfriend or partner and so porn is the only release I have.

    So now I know the reasons, I can try to put together a plan to address issues (i) and (ii).

    I wish you all the best.
     
    enoughnow, Dec 27, 2014
    enoughnow, Dec 27, 2014
    #2
  3. Dec 27, 2014 #3
    ZenPool

    ZenPool Fapstronaut

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    stay away from porn and MO'ing as if your life depended on it, and in a way thats the truth, you need to strengthen your mindset and your thoughts to guard you from all temptations, because the more you relapse the more you are letting yourself down and the less power your words will have, so then the next time you tell yourself that "ok this time I'am forreal, im going to quit!" (usually right after you relapse), it will have a less meaningful effect on your innerself and the easier it will be for you to be tempted next time.
     
    ZenPool, Dec 27, 2014
    ZenPool, Dec 27, 2014
    #3

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