Hello people , i just made my account and i want to share my recent situation . I am almost 20 years old and as long as i remember my life i am sad 80% of the time . I workout almost everyday and got a nice looking body , many people complement me on my looks and i WAS a great student. I think that in the last two years i was on rock bottom. It all started when i revalued my life . In high school i was quite a popular guy and i thought that the world was mine . At one point i thought , wait a second am i really an important person as i think i am ? And that question just crushed me , i saw the reality of my life and i haven't been sadder in any point of my life and i am still battling that.But the only way i "saved" myself from this world was porn , gym and video games.I suffer from some complexes , i have a fear of being rejected and abandoned. A lot of girl have liked me or still like me , but due to my fear i reject them before they could so i don't "suffer". But in the last week i have decided to change that. We were on one girl's birthday party and one girl approached me . I decided to break the ice and the fear of my life so we started to talk . Everything was going great , we talked about stuff and i got the first kiss in my life that night. From that day everything was like golden in my life , the day after i started the nofap and i haven't been happier in my life , everything was so f**king beautiful , i started to love and appreciate life . But as things were going , she eventually changed her mind and things started to go complicated , she rejected my phone calls , didnt text me back. Accepting my defeat and furious of the disrespect i received that I didn't deserve , I stopped initiating anything anymore . And yesterday she calls , she says where are you , aren't you coming to have fun and whats the problem . I got mad angry from her pretending that everything was fine , i said to her it doesn't matter that you don't return my phone calls and texts , it matters the disrespect that you have given me that i haven't deserved. And we have since stopped communicating and shit , and my fear came true , i got rejected on my first try to break that fear. Damn , i am feeling like shit , life crushed me once again... It's been 9 days since i started the challenge and everything was going perfect , no "cravings" for fapping and stuff and everything was so damn good . But today i lost and fapped. It's the first time i am posting on any forum and i read that you can feel better when someone copes with you and understands you , so guys i need help as i am starting once again. I am back to my old self and my old shit of habits and i am getting more afraid of my fears ....
Hello, Welcome to you in Nofap dear and welcome to you in the dating life. It is completly normal to get rejected and you don't have to have fear of that. You are a man, you are made to sustain hard moments like these but for sure what everyone wants from you as a man is to be courageous...try to crush your fears one by one and believe you are going to change your life to become the paster of the game.
Hey there Vik and welcome to the forum! Life is indeed tough and hard but you have it in you! You seem to be a great person and I am proud of you for trying to change your life! Rejection is part of life, many times it is not our fault that people change and frankly speaking, if the didn't return your calls and neither your texts, acted like nothing happened... is she really worth all your energy? You will get 'em next time!
Hey Vik, I think disrespect is something that most of the time we create in our own heads and let it dictate our behaviour while in most cases it's nothing of the sort. I have been where you are and I have felt the same way, although instead of getting angry I would get sad over how unimportant I must be when people behave that way towards me. The truth is, people have problems. Every signle one of us has problems. Male, female, young, old etc. Try talking to her again. Maybe apologize if you yelled at her, but don't overdo it. A simple 'sorry' should suffice. Then ask if she's alright. Maybe the reason she didn't answer was depression? Maybe it wasn't. The point is you will never know if you don't talk. If she's rude and not really communicative then you know what youre dealing with and just withdraw without making a fuss. If she talks with you and apologizes as well then you both could have a wonderful conversation and a greater understanding of each other. EDIT: Regarding your feeling of sadness: Is your sadness becase you don't see the meaning in "all of this"? Or is it that you don't see your place in the world or do you doubt your selfworth?
If you don't have a much dating experience, I will give you some!! Take it for your life. There are some disordered women who were pampered by their parents and society later on, and they have a Narcissistic personality disorder (this is big time serious!!). They are missing empathy and they have special feeling of extreme entitelement. Be careful not to date such a woman, as it can destroy your life more than porn and fapping, trust me. If you are dating a very attractive looking woman be very carefull and study "red flags of narcissistic woman" Again, appreciate your loneliness (even if it sounds weird) because there are a loads of "predatory woman" around they looking for an "emotionally weak guys" to impress them with an amazing and unforgettable sexual experience. And guys who are likely to become addicted to sex/fapping they will become addicted to these women and they will never be able to stand out for themselves. These women have a predatory sense to spot these guys and they hunt for them. Many guys who have a woman with a "narcissistic personality disorder" can become suicide and it is a deadly serious subject. Be extremely careful who you are dating! Regarding to your sad life. You can make it happy life, you need to love yourself better and you need to start to disconnect from outcome what other people say. Enjoy solitude and don't look for approval from other people. I know it is easy to say but hard to do, but that is the way. Many times there is an underlying issue from the childhood where you were not enough for your parent (s) and you have it in yourself, so you are trying to be "enough" and please everybody in order to praise you. This can be healed and there are the ways how to do it. Trust me you can start to live a happy life you just need to be aware of the psychological issue going on behind it. For example, I was not enough for my mother and therefore I struggle with perfectionism and approval from other people. Big time annoying Good luck to you.
