Awful relapse

It can work! You just have to make it work. What do you mean your brain went into autopilot? You must have reached a point where you rationalised that PMOing would be 'okay'.

How to kill urges:
1) Ice cold showers
2) Go outside- for a walk/ run etc
3) Go and do a chore/ something that needs doing

Getting yourself off the computer and thinking about something else is key for combating urges

 

Discipline. You can't cheat the urge, you have to fight and overcome. NOTHING else will work in the long run. Any other suggestion is a short term solution.

 

If you feel like you need motivation, try using this http://emergency.nofap.com/
Don't refresh it too much tho, so whenever you have an urge you see something new to inspire you

 

I may not be the best person to give advice, given my counter and the number of failures, but I'm in a similar situation to yours. I very rarely manage longer streaks than 6-7 days. So take my advice for what it's worth.

First of all, don't give up! Break the 90 day goal, which may seem unattainable at the moment, into smaller sub-goals if you think that might help you. You'll have something to feel good about in the meantime, before you reach the final goal of 90 days.

To prevent urges, keep yourself busy and your mind engaged with other tasks as much as you can. In my experience, it's when you let your mind idle and wander that the urges hit. Minimize the chances of that happening by keeping your mind concentrated on a task of your choice.

To prevent autopilot, when you feel an urge to PMO, try stopping for a while and analyzing your thoughts. Think: "do I need to PMO?", "is the urge really unstoppable?". This is in order to not let your instincts take over you mind. Think about the rationalizations that your mind comes up with, because, as NoBrainer wrote, auto-pilot is nothing else than accepting the stupid rationalizations your mind gives you for PMOing.

If that fails, delay the decision to PMO by doing something else that will get your mind off PMO. While doing the task, concentrate your thoughts on this task! Again, do not let your mind revolve around porn! By the time you finish the activity, the urge may be gone or at least more manageable.

Discipline and willpower is, in my experience, necessary to kill some of the urges. Sometimes you will not be able to follow your urge management techniques or they will not be effective in a particular case and you will have to rely on willpower to get you through. So practice it and fight when all else fails!

Stay strong! We can do it!

 

^i like those two advices. I know the first one, and it works very well. Im going to implement the second one, and it seems effective already! Thanks!

btw my form of meditation is writing, about anything, but making an effort to concentrate in strokes and handwriting, and most importantly slowing down.

 

I've been there. The first few weeks are tough. I started in July. For three months I would have some success for a week or two and then relapse. It felt hopeless and I almost gave up. Then, on November 1, I tried again and finally found the discipline I needed. I also finally got the support that I needed and that has made all the difference. I am at the point now where I still have rough days (this past week and a half has been a white-knuckle ride) but I am seeing some great benefits in my relationships, my sex life, and in myself. It can be rough, and the feeling after you relapse sucks. But, learn from your mistakes and keep trying. If it were easy, where would the feeling of triumph in victory be? Overcoming the challenge will make conquering it feel like such an amazing accomplishment.

 

Hey man I am in the same boat, I had a terrible relapse last night after going for 8 days straight :/. Some amazing advice and motivation from the fellow Fapstronauts above which I'll also definitely take into account. The important thing is to pick yourself back up and keep fighting!! Even after only 8 days I noticed heaps of differences in myself like connecting better with my girlfriend, and improved confidence, which makes me feel terrible when I slip up and go on a porn binge, it's like it sucks the life out of me which is no good to anyone!! So enough rambling from me, keep up the fight!!

 

Welcome to NoFap.

A few things that I've implemented since joining this site are:

1) Set my homepage to http://www.nofap.org/forum/forum.php
2) I'm keeping my door open at all times to make it hard to PMO. I live with two female roommates.
3) Bookmarked http://emergency.nofap.org - it works best if you don't keep hitting refresh but take what you need from it and move on.
4) I'm taking cold showers.
5) I did some research on http://www.yourbrainonporn.com and watched the Ted talks videos there.
6) I'm reading/posting as much as I can on this forum.
7) I'm keeping a daily journal and created a counter to track my progress.
8) I wear a rubber band on my wrist that I snap whenever I have a sexual thought or become aroused.
9) I flex all of my muscles rhythmically whenever I feel like I'm going to get an erection to direct blood flow away from it.
10) I've watched "Sacred Sexuality" videos on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/user/SacredS...sort=da&view=0

For brand new members I recommend doing these three things:

1. Create a journal and post in it everyday, especially when you get urges. Just writing down that I have an urge helps to alleviate it.

2. Set a goal and create a PMO counter to track your progress. Copy and paste it in to your signature. (You can edit your signature in your account settings.)

3. Read and respond to other peoples journals. This will help to make you realize that you are not alone and give you hope and ideas on how to further develop in your recovery.

If you do these three things you'll be off to a great start.

Best of luck.

- vM