This NoFap shit is fucking hard just like my dick all the time...

This week has been a long week and different one too. It has been a week since I committed spermicide. A week ago things were quiet different for me not to say that anything significant has happened. For a month I was on a long streak of "beating the shit out of my midget friend". It would have been less intense if that would be once a day. But the story was quiet different. This all started when my girlfriend went to Australia for her fucking degree. Now I have a roommate, she is my girlfriend's "bff". To understand my story you first have to know that I am a very horny guy. That being said lets begin. This roommate I was talking about, she is fucking hot. And I really want to fuck the shit out of her and I know for a fact that she wants the same thing. But the thing is this girl is fucking emotionally unstable and I know that she will fucking "confess." I am going to marry my girl so I'm not going to risk anything.

So I am in a fucking dilemma. Every time I hang out with my roommate, the sexual tension builds up pretty fast. We watch movies, dance and what not. We both are very physical so there is lot of physical contact between us. It's fucking hard to control myself when her ass is rubbed against my dick when we cuddle while watching movies. We have been very good friends for more than six years. I know she wants to play with my "little brother" or maybe my perception has been clouded due to the fact that I am horny. Either way I can't fuck her.

Last month I had my final exams. Another thing you need to know about me is I get extra horny during my exam. And that is a understatement. To be more precise it's 10X more stronger. This combined with my strong amorous desire to make love to my roommate and not having that choice is making me go crazy. So for the past month, except for last 8 days or so, I have been excessively masturbating. I am literally obsessing over her all the time. I have these fucking intrusive thoughts where I am fucking the shit out of her, she moans and cries and lot of other things going on. One day we were really drunk, we were dancing and making dub smash and stuff, she was sitting on my lap and we started making out. I casually shifted her attention to dancing. At this point my dick was really hard so I went to bathroom to "fight with the purple helmet warrior". We share a same bathroom so her undergarment are lying around the basket, so I picked it up out of curiosity and smelled the sweet aroma of her juicy pussy and "spanked my monkey". That is when I went inside the rabbit hole. My long streak of masturbation and sexual obsession began. For the next 25 days I would have watched 500GB of porn, countless fantasies of fucking my roommate in every position possible and masturbated so many times a day that I lost the count. In the process I alienated my friends and family, went into bouts of depression and anxiety and found it really hard to stay grounded. I was at a point where I googled "how to kill yourself in most painful way" although I knew I was not going to do anything stupid. I had already knew about NoFap before all this because I was a fapronaut way before but in a less intense way. So I tried NoFap many times without any success. I would not masturbate for one day and feel proud already but little that I knew that it's going to happen the next day. The longest that I did was 3 days when I tried meditation, yoga, breathing exercise, hypnosis and what not. The only thing that it did was made me even hornier. As the consequence it made me really needy with my interaction with women including my roommate, who was for all I knew liking the attention. It was like a fucking dark cloud over me all the time. I was depressed. I didn't want to talk with anyone. The shame was consuming me and I felt I was rotting inside. I really felt for the first time in my life what it feels to be hopeless and have no control over myself. I wanted to stop but I couldn't if I wanted to.

But, last week all of a sudden I didn't want to fap that day. It was quite strange for because I couldn't go for single day not fapping atleast two times a day. The next few days was quite easy to control. But the last two days has literally been hell. Especially today after what happened last night. We returned from a party pretty drunk and passed out in the same bed. Now all I can think of is ways I could have fucked her last night. The visuals are also pretty intense right now. So I am going to see if I could go this day without "choking the chicken".

 

And the chicken is dead. I really thought I could go for the whole month.

 

@vulture175: Hey, don't be giving me ideas. However, I was thinking about going on a mountain expedition. At least I would be less inclined to test fire the old meat missile out in a blistering cold. And I am not even kidding. And what's up with the photo of a kid, not that I'm trying to imply anything.