Day 25 Action Report

First post ever. I am an addict and I admitted it to myself quite some time ago. I have several vices, and I have come to learn through this experience that the most significant and powerful of these vices was lust.

I have lived my life in a never ending chase for fleeting pleasures with women whose names I have nearly forgotten. I never focused on any positive goods for myself, neglecting both social ladder climbing and healthy group activities in favor of seclusion and PMO. I have tried this challenge of no PMO before, and made it to 60 days before I knew about nofap. It has been about a year since then. This time it's for real. I'm going to live a healthy life that my ancestors would not be ashamed of.

Mine is a typical story, most have heard it a thousand times over. Started PMO at like 14-15, daily until last year. I am 27 now. Stopped on my birthday. I sometimes wonder about how amazing our civilization would be if we purged this menace of pornography and self centered sexual deviancy from our society entirely. How much raw human potential energy has been squandered in front of a screen? How much creative output? How much art, how many inventions, beautiful compositions, and other achievements has the world missed out on due to this sinful existence we tolerate, instead of striving for higher and better things? How many beautiful marriages, beautiful children, and families have been snuffed out from the future?

Anyway. Yesterday was hard, urges were many. I have leaned heavily on my other vices of marijuana and alcohol over the last couple of weeks. Have been curtailing them slowly, they helped with the more important one. Had my last drink yesterday (hopefully). Will stop buying weed after I run out of this quarter. I am done.

I slept with my toxic ex a couple times the first week. Was desperately searching for some sort of release for the second and hit up a lot of girls I know. They smelled the desperation. I have since stopped that and might try hard mode unless somebody cool comes along.

This sick life was foisted on us by those who control our culture and I for one object to it ardently. I refuse it. I shall take back the fullness of my masculinity.

Sorry for my ramblings I wasn't sure what to write. I don't often do such things. I wish you all luck, brothers.

 

Thanks guys! Working on the alcohol and weed thing. Gonna try to just do it socially, not when I'm alone. It's hard as a rock climber, since everybody is pretty much smoking. And as a bartender everybody is pretty much drinking. Both of my social circles are hitting me on that front. Guess I just gotta be strong.

It's getting easier as I approach day 30.

I feel like a new person sometimes. My social interactions are seamless, and there's none of that constant desire to slowly back away and leave conversations with people. I look people in the eyes and hold it now, I just noticed I was doing this naturally, it wasn't something I was doing consciously.

I touch people now. Not in like a weird way but in a natural and healthy way. I suppose my whole life I've been very stand offish. Humans need contact though. Especially women! A well timed brush up against them, or a playful bump against their hips, or picking them up and moving them, super powerful stuff.

All the hostesses/waitresses at the restaurant I work at are seeing me in a new light. It's like a flirting science lab for me. God I love restaurant work.

Anyway, I might just post randomly in this thread. Idk. Maybe I'll make a journal thread. Maybe not.

Good luck in your struggle, brothers.

 

Also I put Jesus as my computer background and my phone background. I'm not particularly religious or anything but I find that it helps me not use my devices for fapping.