7 days - partial relapse

Managed to get to 7 days without anything, however I didnt manage to stay away from MO today. I was blueballing and couldn't concentrate on learning...which is quite a problem when finals start in two days. Excercise helped, keeping busy helped, but sitting still and learning...didn't work.
I knew going in last week that the timing sucked and I'd hit a wall right now (even acknowledged the finals in my goals), but I didn't want to delay my start. No final fap, no big preperation, after learning about the movement I jumped right in. At least I managed to stay away from P, thats why I call it a partial relapse.

It was actually quite interesting MO'ing knowing what I know now about how my brain works, there was a detached part of myself that was analyzing the whole process. I do believe it helped me understand my brain slightly better.

Round two will be better, no such walls in sight after finals week!

 

Its really quite fascinating...how the rush after the relapse recedes, how the brain starts to urge me for more, how this starts the craving again. How easy it would be to go on a binge and fall off the wagon.

I also feel the emotional changes...how the drive to get busy recedes, getting replaced with some kind of contentment. How the energy that drove me to lots of small, exhausting tasks (kinda remodeled parts of my home in the last week) begins to fade.

Actually makes me realize how true the binge mechanism is, how my addiction works. How even a single week has changed me. Looking forward to the future...

Good luck to all of you out there, stay strong!