Made it to 80 days and then...

Don't despair! Others have made it before. YOU can make it too!

 

If I can offer one thing, don't try to hide your manliness. If you are a man, then act like one. You, by your nature, communicate in a typically logical manner. Women communicate in an emotional manner. Yes she will always be like that, so get used to it. It is the challenge of being in a relationship. When she is in a heightened emotional state, she will take everything the wrong way, because that is her nature. When things are escalating, shut down the conversation. Both of you in emotional overdrive will accomplish nothing. Tell her that a break is needed. She will not want that, but promise her that you'll talk about it, but you need to take a break, so the situation can cool down. When you approach each other again, the communication end to be better. Both of you have given yourselves time to rethink what needs to be said. This will also help you from getting back at her by masturbating. I say that because I used to do it after a fight with my ex. Perhaps I'm just full of it though. Only my perspective. Hope it helps.

 

I need to apologize. I read the rest of your post. You need to leave her. Threatening to leave someone every time there is strife is only manipulation. You are giving in to it. Call her bluff. Say, "OK leave." If you allow this to continue, and actually go forward with your marriage, this will only get worse and you are delaying the evevitable. One of the reasons I started PMOing is because my lack of confidence. When I did find my centre and realized my potential(which this drains by the way) I knew that kind of bullshit will never enter my life again. Once again, I could be full of it, but I am giving you my years of experience. Throw her out of your home and tell her to never come back if she ever does that again. That is not love you have there, it's manipulation. Your friends should be saying telling you this as well. You are not a slave, you are a man. If you act like one and stand up to her, you will either be alone, with your self respect, or she will see you in a whole new light. She is shit testing you by saying that. So far you are failing.

 

Before I married, my wife and I used to fight like that. She would end up packing all her stuff up and leaving, but would always return. This happened a fair few times and really upset me, until one day I decided I'd had enough.

The last time she packed her stuff up and then came back, I told her that this was the last time that was ever going to happen. I told her next time you pack all your stuff up like that and leave, it will be the last time because you will never be coming back. I was dead serious when I said this, not only to her but to myself, because at this point in time I had well and truly had enough. Funnily enough that was the last time she ever did that.

I guess why I told you that story is because you shouldn't let a woman treat you like that. I would give her an ultimatum, to stop talking to you like that while explaining how it makes you feel, and if she can't stop then she can leave and never come back. It sounds like you could do a lot better!

 

besides: women go mad before their weddings. no joke. ask friends or try to remember female friends you know who did.

maybe less than 20% stay cool and normal.

SOOOOOOO, try to avoid ANY trouble. go ahead and lie. you don't mean it in a bad way, but HER wedding is almost everything a woman dreams of her whole life. and she needs to get back to the frustrating reality (location suxx, weather might be bad, costs a lot, is she to heavy on that day or in general, all the common wedding stress and so on). IT IS NO hollywood blockbuster, unless your wedding costs half a million and more.

man, keep it simple and cool and try to avoid mistakes!

 

Hey,

Well done for getting so far and being so open with your partner. On those two items alone you already way ahead of the pack.
You appear to have a fear of rejection. Try and analyse it the next time these fears resurface - see can you feel it and see where it comes from ? - maybe some rejection issues as a kid , maybe a previous gf cheated on you ?

Is your gf aware how much it hurts you to hear her say she is leaving all the time ? Explain the significance of it too her and ask her to try and vent her feelings in another way without saying she is gonna leave all the time. If she is fully aware how bad it is for you then there is the unfortunate possibility that she is consciously or subconsciously manipulating your feelings...

I speak as someone who had a serious fear of rejection to the point of obsessiveness and had previous gf's who would threaten to walk out the door every time we fought. I know how much it hurts.

Like everything else its having the courage to express your deepest fears/issues to your partner and trying to slow you own mind down enough so that you can analyse it and try and release the negative/destructive emotions inside.

 

Do not lie.

The very nature of a lie is deception. No good will come of it. Ever.

Yes, for many women they have been fed a lifetime of expectations (lies) by a culture that likes to manipulate female emotions for profit. It sucks, and if your fiance is struggling through that (even unknowingly) it is not entirely her fault.

Here's my take (on this isolated matter) - not all questions must be answered. Not all questions must be answered immediately. And most questions aren't asked in such a way that they reveal the real root of a question. If a girl asks you, "Do you look at porn?" she could be asking, "Will I be pretty enough for him, or will he just add to my struggle of insecurity?" Or she could be asking, "Will he actually be faithful, or will he cheat and justify it like many men do?"

Take a deep breath. Always acknowledge the question. Repeating it, especially when asking for clarification - that's communication. That's sincere. That's love. That's the point.

Do not lie. It will come back to bite you, and you'll pay for it, with heavy interest.