Also, she is not having sex for 10 months? Dude chicks cant go that long , something smells funny here...
LOL probably explains why she enjoys sleeping in the spare room now she is living a totally separate life to me, it's weird. I enjoyed reading your previous comment too. The dog loves me more anyway. If he could talk he would choose me. Starting reading an awesome book yesterday https://www.amazon.com.au/Homo-Deus-Brief-History-Tomorrow-ebook/dp/B019CGXTP0 Just finished the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#ck as well. Really helps put things into perspective.
Ever heard of the marriage course? Even if you're not married it might be worth your time, helping you figure some of that stuff out with your partner.
Depending on how long you have been watching pmo for, it can take a year or more to get back to normal. Day 299 here. What did it for me was reading a book called, your brain on porn by Gary Wilson. He explains how pmo impacts your brain and into depression like feeling called flatline when you reboot, a bit like uncertainty . After that my life took a turn for the better. He also advocates a healthy lifestyle . Also, setting a Internet blocker to reduce adult content rids the problem by 75%, willpower alone is not sufficient. It will strengthen your desire to overcome pmo. When you watch p or do pmo you’re prefrontal cortex is effected. It impairs your mental health. I’d also recommend the book translated by @HMHU , it’s called rebooting as best remedy and explains things from Chinese medicine point of view about dangers of pmoing. Search his name at top of this page or search, 6 years clean in the forum search bar. I’ve downloaded the kindle pdf and am reading it it’s amazing a life changing book. You are a good person, you are not your addiction! Habits can get in the way but can be undone. It takes 30 days to form a habit. You have a life outside of addiction.
Haven't read the book yet. PMO has been in my life from age 14 to 36. So 22 years. I have had major flatline and depression at Day 30 and the last week has been pretty bad. Day 60 felt horrible and every day this week has been a struggle. I had urges to look up girls in bikinis last night but stopped myself. My flatline/depression has been magnified by two things that are not the best in my life atm, my career and Relationship. I'm sick of not being able to choose/stick with a career and as a consequence I'm working on minimum wage. People my age are married, have houses, high incomes and I'm on the same wage as a 22 year old who just left uni. I feel better for going on this journey but it has made me really reflect on my life and all the other things that need to be fixed/changed as well. This flatline is forcing me to really turn on myself and ask the question. What the hell do you want from your life and what will you be happy doing?
Well sex is not the only thing in relationship. Maybe she too is satisfied with porn(I Dont know just guessing, why not?). Give a try as i say, You be the matured one or the problem solving person and talk to her regarding daily basis things, this way keep your communication with her. Next, go on trips( This will make your relationship better for sure). Right now dont think of sex, use your energy release from NOfap on charming her or making the relationship interesting. Dude Sometimes people are like that, It doesnt mean that we dont have to take the first step and breath life into relationship. Just get a interesting bond between you two. Talk to her and ask her why she is behaving like that( her problems, You dont know whats she is going throught), tell her your problems. Start sharing things and thoughts, in the beginning if she doesnt share also no problem. You share your thoughts and ideas and situations. With time she will start. After all this also if she is like that and your situations are like that then we cant do anything(You two may not meant to be together). What i am saying is "You do your part as a partner". If she is cheating on you, Dont accept it (Get rid of her).
You stated this thread few months ago. Did you two had any talk?did you took any new steps with her? Just curious...
When I walk into a room she makes a point of leaving the room. We haven't had "a talk" for many months. Every night she sleeps in the spare room. On Thursday it was her birthday. She choose to go out with her interstate friend for dinner and didn't invite me. Today she caught up with her girlfriends and the only time she spoke to me is when she wanted me to drop and pick her up. Tomorrow she has suggested I take her out so it's nice to know I'm last on the list unless she needs something.
How are you still alive? 12 months of relationship to a person who denies you sex... I would get away from her. I wouldn't even call this a relationship. Oh, and quit porn, too.
I don't know. Quit PMO in Nov18. Only thing stopping me bailing is 1) The dog 2) My Low Income 3) Feeling bad about disappointing everyone
I think I can understand. You probably will disappoint others, there is no way around that. You still need to "cut the losses", as they say in my business. Stay any longer and you will suffer much more.
Get to therapy yourself first. Show her you are committed to recovery. If she will come with you, that's a good step. If you cannot work things out after a few sessions, time to call it a day. If the desire is there to fix it on both sides, then fix it and maybe things will seem a lot better. Can you imagine how good the make up sex would be if you guys can solve this? The dog is just an excuse. Good luck. I think there's hope.
If you haven’t talked to her about this than that is step one, sit her down and tell her you want to talk to her. Does she know you’re doing NoFap and rebooting?
All this may be a cover up something in both side. As you are keeping the fapping secret(we all do) and showing something else outside and the real problem remain unnoticed. Dog helps not to escalate things to another level.
This. Insert knife; twist. Ten years seems worth the effort to try to salvage. Consider revisiting the couples counseling idea. Agree on the dog. Irreplaceable.