I am try hard to over my PMO but being married it's hard. I doing ok will no PM but still had sexy with my wife. Is it better to try stop every thing for the fist 90days or can my reboot still work with sex with wife.
I understand it’s better to have a hard mode reboot. But my wife I simply stayed with no P or M for myself. My situation was PIED. Your situation is different? Does she know you are trying to recover? As others have told you, Stop using P, Hands off yourself. Do the NoFap program here Or a 12 step program Like SAA or SA. Give it 110% I told my SO and she responded well and is very supportive. I save my sexual attentions for her. She may support whatever you need to recover. That is why they are our SIGNIFICANT Other.
It can still work. Some say it will take longer but it's hard to tell if that is true, since it can take ages anyway. Good luck. Be careful about the chaser effect (when you are desperate to masturbate the day after real sex).
Yes she know I wants to help but finds it hard to understand it all. Ie "how PM is better then his as she sees it." As our sex life was not in a good place compared to 4 years ago.
You set the rules for your reboot. Do what will help you become the most successful in your journey and allow you to meet your goals. I started with just cutting out P, then naturally stopped M a couple of days later. I maintained intimacy with my wife, but we were careful, deliberate, and slow with it. When it did happened I ensured I was present with her, connected, and loving. It may be tough finding the balance, and to determine whether your intent to be intimate or have sex is fueled by your addiction or other behaviors, if in doubt I made the choice not to engage my spouse. Many have had good results from abstaining from O for some time with their spouse, I presume it helped to reconnect without sex, which is great. I can personally attest you can also be successful in a reboot while continuing to sex with your partner. It is imperative that you talk with your partner about your reboot, so you two can work on it together, and that everyone’s expectations are set appropriately when it comes down to it. The last thing you need during a reboot is to have your spouse harbor or express resentments towards you because you have chosen to withhold sex from them. It should be a choice both of you make, and that choice starts with a conversation.
Interesting. I like how you said you were careful, deliberate and slow with it. I have a girlfriend and she has an above average sex drive. I have done 45 days without porn and she was getting a little crazy because I wasn't doing anything. Women go nuts when they are getting turned down from sex lol... But anyways, now I'm trying to really get over this addiction for good and go semi-hard mode but I don't think abstaining from sex will work for that long. This may sound bad but I actually can't wait for her next period haha... I'll just have to talk to her and maybe arrange some intimacy. I definitely want to refrain from orgasm for a while. Maybe 30 days at minimum.
Yeah I've thought about it. My plan is to use some desensitizer to delay me long enough for her to finish first. I'm by no means that sensitive so I think it'll work out.
