Social Anxiety

Hey man I was at the same place you were 9 days ago, and I can tell you, I went to church today and was much more sociable then usual, eye contact wasn't much of a problem. There was still some shyness, but it wasn't the crippling "go find a place to crawl into until everybody goes away" kind of shyness. And that's only 9 days in for me... I expect it to improve.

I can really related to the feeling of everyone judging you... but right now it's a lot less, and I feel confident enough to meet people and I'm not half as anxious as I used to be.

I'm also unemployed, also looking for a job, so I feel for you. But I can say that it will get better. Not everybody's journey is the same, of course, but alot of people have said that stopping PMO has helped with their social anxiety, and I'm one of them. I'll keep you updated on my increasing confidence, I you want. Good luck on your journey!

 

Quit porn and masturbation hardmode. Give it a month and you'll feel great. Simple as that

 

We are the same age and you sound exactly like me, trust me no pmo plays a big part in reducing/eliminating social anxiety.
I used to do shit like wait until night time to go shopping so that I dont see as many people.
No PMO I would say gives me extra confidence in social situations to the point were you no longer or care less about others perception of you.

Instead of worrying about people judging you, you will be the one judging trust me and the eye contact will come even with women but also try briefly looking people in the eye as you walk past them this will help you.

I also notice if I relapse my social anxiety gets worse, I was meant to sign up for boxing traing but PMO'd and was too afraid to go lol.

 

Yesterday I randomly started talking to a woman, because I was curious about the shop she has been in. I didn't plan on it at all, it just "happened".
Usually i would get the idea and then find reasons why not to do it and beat myself up for it later.
On the other hand I'm still avoiding some social situations..

It helps, just don't expect miracles without doing anything for it.

 

Have been looking twice at all women recently (about a week now). Not sure if nofap related or not. First thought has been sexual but second thought has been different, analytical. Sexual thoughts are still more powerful for me but the other thoughts i find encouraging. Really want to explore this further. Hope I can hold out against urges. Am reading forum and web to help to try to understand what my body & brain are doing when a sensation/thought/feeling hits.

Hope this is helpful

 

This is all related to your subconscious mind. When you approach a woman, or even think about approaching a woman, you may consciously plan to hide your PMO issues from her, but it's still there in your subconscious mind. On a deep level, you know you still struggle with this, and that's part of the reason you don't approach. If you're feeling social anxiety or approach anxiety, you need to go and work on yourself for a while. Fix up things that might make you feel down on yourself, and eliminate those problems. And above all else, GIVE IT TIME TO WORK.

When you've given up your vices (such as PMO), and devoted time and energy to things that will make you a healthier individual, you'll automatically become more confident. That confidence will help you with approaching women, or any other challenge in life. What you need to do is reach a point where you believe, deep down, that you DESERVE success. That's the first obstacle to overcome.

You also need to develop confidence in your ability to maintain, which has been a big one for me. You need to believe that you can keep the girl around, hang onto the job, or whatever aspect of success your chasing. I have realised in my own personal life, that even if I meet the girl of my dreams, I won't be able to keep her around if I'm wasting time and energy on PMO. This could be part of your issue too.

 

No PMO'ing won't magically cure your anxiety. The only way to cure it is to be at okness with oneself and actually approach people/women. Literally just start walking from your home and say Have a nice day to everyone you meet. Ask for directions, be polite it is not a crime to speak to people yet society has conditioned us to beleieve it is äwkward" to intercat with strangers at first. Just like you have willpower to not PMO you have the willpower to interact freely with another human being. Small steps until you can talk to people w/o being anxious. Communication is a skill the more you do it the more you feel less äwkward"about it.

 

it helps a lot,

other things that help few months of running 4-5 days a week, lifting weights gym etc

meditation...

 

I had major social anxiety, used to go out of my way to avoid people and would sweat buckets when talking to new people. After 30 days I'm a lot better, I am a lot more sociable, initiate conversation with random strangers sometimes and that sweating is gone, I wrote about my some of the benefits I found here: http://www.nofap.com/forum/showthread.php?32421-30-Days-and-How-They-Changed-Me

I can't attribute my loss of social anxiety completely to nofap, but it was the catalyst that led me to go out and be more social. Any social opportunity you get while doing nofap you've gotta jump at really

 

My social anxiety albeit minor (imo), is just getting a bit frustrated when conversing because I don't want to talk a whole in someone's head, but at the same time don't want it to be a short, awkward convo. I used to be much worse ie: didn't like socializing, or even talking to people but I realized that that's actually the spice of life my friend!

As far as people judging you, you have no way of knowing it for sure so don't lose sleep over it, heck they're probably just as nervous as you. And if they ARE judging you, SCREW EM the second I stopped caring what other thought, life got a LOT more easy and enjoyable.

And yes no PMO does help because you feel better and when you feel good, you look good.

Best wishes