Small victory

I know I'm probably not 100% cured of my PIED and PMO addiction however I just wanted to celebrate a small victory for me. Yesterday even though I was not feeling particularly horny. I initiated some intimacy with my wife. She was on her period so we did not get to test penetration but I am happy to say I was able to maintain an erection through the whole thing. Idk if it's because I was still on my back most of the time but at least its intimacy and not my hand. Being on back is a detail I pay attention to because I think I may have trained my brain to associate lying down with orgasm because it is very difficult for me to get or maintain an erection standing. But back to the positives I even came twice the second was like 1 minute after the first.

 

I know this is probably the wrong place to ask this but why am I still nervous about our next encounter?