my all good habits are gone, self discipline is gone too

If your routine is in the morning, change it to the night time. Find out what your triggers are and then now is the best way to handle them? What leads you to fantasying? Eliminated that cause.

 

Based on your answers, it looks like you need to find an interest - working out, collecting something, building something... And stay off your pc for long periods. Go for a walk, talk to a friend. Keep your eyes from drafting to look at things that start you to fantasying. Control your eyes, will allow you to control your actions.

 

Learn codding if you are using computer much time.

 

The battle begins and ends in the mind. It must be won there if you are change your behavior.

When you begin to have a fantasizing thought, stop it and address it directly. What are you imagining? Why? What is it you truly hope to attain? Will PMO help you achieve that? *Really?*

You must learn the discipline of freezing your thoughts, finding the lies they contain, replacing those lies with the truth, and then focusing your attention on the truth instead of the lie. If you do this consistently, starting with fantasizing and gradually expanding it to all your thoughts, you will grow stronger in your ability to resist the urges. You will no longer be completely out of control and simply reacting. You will be directing your thoughts to be more productive and dwelling there instead of in a swamp of lies.

 

Quitting will likely be the hardest thing you have ever done. It is not impossible. Keep showing up every day, keep practicing mental discipline, and soon you will have your breakthrough. Never give up!

 

I do not understand what you mean here. You observe what? Then ask what questions? You don't want to do what? What happens?

 

Let me write my story.....

Alright, so last year, I was thirteen, you know, I was a good looking guy, MANY girls liked me. So, one day, I was sick, at home. And I remember I found out about some pornstar named Piper Perri, I then was VERY hesitant to click on a porn website. And when I went to the site, I saw porn for the very first time, I was getting horny, but it SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME, I felt so guilty, but kept viewing. I thought it was a terrible thing to do. That night, I masturbated for the first time. I stroked it a few times, and then was playing around, stroking it quickly, and counting down like "10..9...8..", and then when I ejac'ed, I was so guilty! I started to pray to god, asking for forgiveness, I was like "THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT" and I was guiltily telling my self "Fahud you have officially earned the title, 'Masturbator'." (because I fapped for the first time.) I felt very guilty, but said it was only a 1 time thing. That was near the end of the school year, to let you know. So, then, I started to view porn every now and then, maybe once every few weeks. I think that I didn't "M" for 3 weeks. And then, one day, when I got bored, I 'M'ed twice, I remember it was right before Ramadan, a Islamic holiday in which it is very sinful to masturbate during, and that holiday lasts 1 month. Additionally, masturbation isn't allowed in my religion, neither is porn. So, fast forward another 2 weeks, its the middle of Ramadan, and I wake up in the middle of the night, and I masturbate. The guilt flew inside of me, after I ejac'ed, I was like "Oh my god, I fapped in Ramadan!!!". And I thought I'd be going to hell for doing so. After that I fapped again, the next night, the night after that, I had a wet dream, Then I got a phone, my brother's phone, I had access to porn, and that made it so much worse! I started fapping everyday, two to four times per day for about 2-3 weeks to porn, and I . After I did that for about a week or two, my mom looked at my nose and said "Fahad, your nose suddenly got bigger", and I shrugged it off, because I thought I was smiling at the time, and my nose looks bigger when I'm smiling. Then, I continued for 1 more week, (now realize, I've gone almost one month with everyday fapping.) So, I go to my friend's house, and he looks at me and says "Farad, your nose got fatter.", then his mom (who isn't that good at english) says, "Fahad, his nose is..." , and my mom is like "Yeah! His nose got bigger, he's turning into a man!" Then, I GOT REALLY FUCKING NERVOUS, I was like "What are people at school going to say?!?!, I mean, it looks the same size to me." I thought it was because I was going through puberty, but then it struck me, it was because of excessive masturbation. I researched online, and some other people were experiencing the same thing like me, one guy said "I've been masturbating for 1 month, and my nose got bigger, I've quit for 3-4 days, its gone back to normal for the most part, but I can still notice a little more length, this gives me little will to live.... UPDATE! My nose is back to normal, I will never fap again." --- That was his post. I realized that it was the reason for my nose to get bigger, school was starting soon! I quit for about 3 days, and then I relapsed, I don't fucking know how I did, but I did. Then, I went for 4 days, and now it was Orientation day for highschool. I got superrr nervous, because I forgot to write earlier, but excessive masturbation gave me social fear/anxiety. I was getting nervous around people, all the time! So, I go to orientation day, nobody comments about my nose, everyone noticed it, and I got a couple funny looks! Also, my nose isn't big, it just has gotten bigger due to masturbation. Then, on orientation day, we check out all of our classes, and most of my classes were filled with other kids. (Also, I was popular in 8th grade.) So, when I go to science, I get into class late, and some kid looks at me and laughs, because that was embarassing. And then as I exit, he trys to be funny, and goes like "What up!", and reaches his hand out to me. I shake his hand, and then he looks at his friend, and they both snicker. I forgot to add, but some Junior that was helping us freshmen get to class, said that I was cute, and she was very pretty too. That afternoon, I got back from school, and I masturbated. I thought, "hmm, so nobody really said anything about my nose, its not that bad" I got really sad from this social anxiety, it caused me to breathe hard around others, and now, I still have that. I masturbated everyday for 6 months, until the end of December, I got a wake up call. I then