today is when i am fianally begin my NoFap journey

Hey ramses321, being ashamed or angry just reinforces the addiction - that's biology of the brain, go and do research on it. Best thing to do is pick yourself up and start again. ONE-DAY-AT-A-TIME. Go for a walk, get some sun on you if you can or join a gym. Some form a meditation is also worth exploring. The way I've been fighting this addiction is through following a strict daily routine and when you get the urge to watch P, get up and do something else. Yes, it's difficult in the beginning but you can do it man!
Every time you try you get stronger.

 

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I hear you brother. I have been PMO free for about six months but started looking at porn again a few times this week. I am going to pick myself up and keep going on this streak. I am glad I can keep my physical acting out down but what if I can't one day.

Be consistent in what you are doing to avoid PMO and it will get better. I need to do that as well.

I assume you had full relapse looking at the mental images. Still have a routine in place and you will do great..