Objectifying women

I wouldn't consider you a perv. I believe every guy, even married men have thoughts like this once in a while. It's just a natural tendency; however, I think this post is really illuminating your genuine character. I can tell you love your wife enough that you even consider this an issue. My advice is to just not dwell on your thoughts too much. Also, just because you find a woman attractive doesn't mean you are objectifying them.

keep a level head. Stay true to your wife. Don't let your brain convince you that you are a pervert just because you occasionally find a girl attractive.

 

Look at and admiring women is not objectifying them. Using them in your fantasies to get your rocks off, is. Look, you are doing fine, and men look at women, we are visual creatures, hence our issue with the new technology, high speed internet with free and unlimited variety of P!

 

women dress sexy cuz they want your energy, they want to be 'objectified', whatever that means, that's commie feminist spew anyways, quit using their non-sense jargon and you will feel better.

it is the communists who have 'objectified' us all , by treating us like objects. Convincing us we are just chemicals and meat with no souls, that is what true objectification is. we are dust.

God's spirit in you is the flaming sword but lust is the pain of losing, of feeling it oozing out of you.

 

look, all living things are constantly trying to eat other living things. A wolf's 'compulsion' to eat bunny rabbits isn't a mental illness, it's a natural desire to live.

And what is actually happening when a wolf eats a bunny rabbit? the wolf is taking the rabbits energy into itself. The woman takes YOUR energy into herself. You are the one being eaten.

that is why morons inside prison and psychpaths outside prison have no mercy for sexual offenders. Because it is weakness and vulnerability, not strength. They worship and grovel at the feet of true evil and sadistic strength.

 

Haha... this post reminds me of the stories of women with teeth in their vaginas. You better watch out, they'll eat you up!

 

In my experience, the more you make a secret of it, the more alluring it is, and the more it disturbs you in the end.

Let me tell you how I try to go about this these days:

Whenever I notice a hot woman, I acknowledge it. "Wow. She's really something." There, I have admitted it to myself - less secrecy.
I know I COULD turn my head, I COULD ogle her, but I have no interest in carrying her image around all day, triggering me. She has no right to meddle with my reboot. So I look away. Sometimes, it takes strength, and for a moment I have the nagging feeling I'm missing something. But thirty seconds later, the girl has faded and I'm back to normal mode.

When my wife is with me, I sometimes point those women out to her. "Hey, look at that skirt. Quite short, don't you think?" - There, I said it, I'm attracted to her - less secrecy, less appeal. I can't really turn my head now and stop and stare, can I? Would be rude toward my wife. So I say goodbye to the eye candy. A few minutes in, I've let go.

What's the point of staring anyway? It doesn't benefit me. Do I feel better afterwards?
Noticing women is natural. Letting them get to your core and wasting your fantasy (or your semen) on them is not.

 

I have no problem with my husband thinking another woman is attractive. I just don't want him fantasizing or craning his neck to get a look. Acknowledge that a woman is beautiful and move on. I get gawked at all the time and when a man is with his wife it is extremely demeaning to her and makes me feel like slapping the guy upside the head. Some guys have zero restraint when checking women out...just don't be that guy . Just being aware of it is half the battle!

 

A little technique I invented is this:

Personification remedies objectification.

If you notice yourself objectifying a woman, personify her. In your mind, make up three little 'facts' about her that make her human: She is feeling X, she loves her Y and she finds Z irritating.

If I clock a girls ass, I 'zoom out' - see the whole - then personify.

The point about acknowledgement that seventyniner makes is true. It is something I could implement better in my own thinking so thanks for sharing.

 

There is this thing called civilisation...

 

I am looking to stop objectifying and move away from supernormal stimuli

 

This is a good thread, and I agree with limeaid and seventyniner, respect, for your wife and to not ogle. I will say this, think women are more compelled to dress more provocative to compete with our highly sexual culture. I mean, come on, mini skirts, know me over pumps, and yoga pants, we have built this culture (of porn) where women have to sexualize themselves to feel attractive, pretty sad when you think about it.

 

Yes it is sad, but in my opinion not because women are wearing sexy clothes, but because they feel they have to, to get attention. Men are too busy PMOing and wasting time in front of screens to care about them anymore.

 

This is one of the most difficult and controversial aspects of recovery I find, well explained in the other posts about our more animal and human tendencies to do this. If you pull yourself away your brain will learn. It may never stop, but is control and level of energy will reduce. Ride the waves here, I think.