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Please Help me! Living with unbearable depression,ocd, anxiety,etc

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by lucas91, Mar 18, 2015.

  1. Mar 18, 2015 #1
    lucas91

    lucas91 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys! Actually, I'm not in a good condition right now! And this is my first thread.
    I'm 23. As I can remember from the beginning of my puberty, like age 13, I began PMOing but it wasn't until when I was 18-19 that I began using it severely! I can say I had a slight depression at that time but nothing that serious. After around a year of using pmo everyday,I began feeling severely depressed (suicidal).

    Nothing in life was enjoyable anymore (even pmo became a mechanical habit with no enjoyment. I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with clinical depression, ocd and anxiety and got an antidepressant for that. But I continued PMOing and my depression didn't get any better although medication did help a little bit but I never felt like my old self. It's been around 3-4 years and I've been dealing with depression on and off. Needless to say that I had 2 very bad sex experience where I couldn't get it up at all!

    On February 6th after reading so many threads in YBOP and here, I thought maybe all of my mental problems are because of that dopamine related porn usage! Currently it's my day 40 without PMO (my longest record) And my depression is really worse than prior to nofap! I have no motivation in almost everything! Nothing in life is enjoyable. I decreased my antidepressant dosage in the first day with the hope of pmo being my main problem. I didn't want the medication result negatively in my reboot. And currently, I use a low dosage.

    I don't know whether I'm in withdrawal (Cause I'm sure how my brain was addicted to porn and masturbation) or I should go back to my psychiatrist and maybe try a new med. :(
     
    lucas91, Mar 18, 2015
    lucas91, Mar 18, 2015
    #1
  2. Mar 18, 2015 #2
    pics

    pics Fapstronaut

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    Hey Lucas and welcom in the community.

    I read with attention your post because i feel almost the same than you. What's more because I have the almost same psychatric diseases (anxiety, depression, social phobia, agoraphobia...) than you. I just began my nofap "treatment" but I keep taking my pills. I know it will be impossible to stop the two at the same time. As for your problem even with NoFap for sure dont go back to your previous life. I heard and read several people that said that feeling with depression is normal until our brain "cures". The time it needs depends on every individual. I hope you will not stop nofap.
    Did you talk to your psychiatrist about your addiction?
     
    pics, Mar 18, 2015
    pics, Mar 18, 2015
    #2
    Moatasem likes this.
  3. Mar 18, 2015 #3
    NoneForMeThanks

    NoneForMeThanks Fapstronaut

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    Dude, I have a very similar story.
    Short recap: depressed AF as a teen, felt super anxious/ insane/ in my own head constantly. Also addicted to porn. Years later: anti depressants help. More years later: get off meds, eventually do first reboot. Mentally felt great! 250 days later: relapse. FELT EXACTLY LIKE I DID AS A TEENAGER. depressed, socially anxious, in my head AKA awful.

    Im 38 days into this reboot, and I actually am getting more depressed as well. All I know is that my brain is doing some crazy rewiring with dopamine pathways and blah blah blah, and this is most likely why Im getting depressed. But, for me, its a good kind of depressed. because I actually feel sadness deep in me. I wanted to cry (which I havent felt like doing for god knows how long). Im actually feeling things, is the bottom line. And ive been praying that this gets better, and I have extreme faith it will. Ive been considering getting back on the meds, but Now im thinking im just gonna let my brain rewire, and I know things will get better. I just need to be patient.

    You may be able to relate. I cannot, and am not, suggesting any medical advice. Perhaps you can relate to my story, though. We can talk more in depth any time if you'd like!

    -NONE
     
    NoneForMeThanks, Mar 18, 2015
    NoneForMeThanks, Mar 18, 2015
    #3
    Moatasem and cubs2516 like this.
  4. Mar 18, 2015 #4
    lucas91

    lucas91 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for your answer!
    No, I haven't spoken about my pmo addiction with my psychiatrist because I didn't consider it to be something serious to mention.

    But now I don't know whether to wait in this reboot and see whether I'd get better or go and see a psychiatrist. (because I have moved to another city and I should see a new one)

    So this is what I'm struggling right now!
     
    lucas91, Mar 18, 2015
    lucas91, Mar 18, 2015
    #4
  5. Mar 18, 2015 #5
    lucas91

    lucas91 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you None for making me not to feel alone in this struggle! Well, it's quite hard to figure out whether this clinical depression that I've been through for several years has been related to porn addiction or not. I also don't want the meds interfere with my reboot.
    I'd like to talk more with you and know more about you! We are in the same boat dude!
     
    lucas91, Mar 18, 2015
    lucas91, Mar 18, 2015
    #5
  6. Feb 11, 2016 #6
    mudasir

    mudasir Fapstronaut

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    yes clinical depression is only caused by excessive masturbation.and doctors don't understand it........what work you do
     
    mudasir, Feb 11, 2016
    mudasir, Feb 11, 2016
    #6

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